Bored at Life

Merriman: The Funny Juicemonkey

2007-01-11T09:40:00.000-05:00

Apparently, Shawne Merriman has a pretty good sense of humor. Despite Jason Taylor coming out and verbally undressing Merriman for his steroid suspension (even going so far as suggesting positive test results should lead to banishment from the league) and beating him out for the Defensive Player of the Year; Merriman got the last laugh.

Merriman gets by blockers as well as he brushes off criticism, and there really hasn’t been much with the exception of the reaction of Miami Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor, who beat out Merriman for NFL Defensive Player of the Year and received a Lights Out T-shirt, hat and box of popcorn for game-viewing courtesy of Merriman, “so he could watch us in the playoffs.”

UNC: Pro Football Player Factory

2007-01-09T21:41:00.000-05:00

Pro Bowl Center Jeff Saturday, one of several UNC alums on this years roster, signs an autograph enroute to last year's Pro Bowl.

Looking at the Pro Bowl Roster, looks like after the "U", North Carolina produced the most pro-bowlers. Although the Tar Heels' won loss record for the past few years doesn't show it; Carolina clearly is a football factory.

(Number of Pro Bowlers followed by college)

6- Miami (Fla.)
4- North Carolina
3- Southern California, Georgia, NC State
2- Oregon State, California, LSU, Purdue, Tennessee, TCU, Penn State, Texas, Oklahoma State, Maryland, Arizona, Clemson, Iowa, Florida State, Oklahoma, Virginia

Additionally, eight of the twelve playoff teams had Tarheels on their rosters. John Bunting didn't do much winning, but (and we never really payed much attention before) seems to have put a lot of guys in the league.

Mea Culpa: When You are Wrong, You are Wrong

2007-01-09T10:17:00.000-05:00

Wow, Florida knocked the spit outta THEE Ohio State University.

As has been brought to our attention through a few comments and emails, we posted previously that our money was on the 'Bucks. Our Buckeye backing was based mostly on a report that Charlie Strong was going to pick Ron Zook's brain to gain the knowledge necessary to shut down the Bucks powerful offense. Now, come on. That sounds crazy to any logical mind!

Of course, the Gators completely stymied the Buckeye O and rammed Troy Smith's Heisman where the sun don't shine. And, in turn, served yours truly (author of the Zook post) a huge helping of crow. Well, not just served it; but rather, jammed it down my throat and held my mouth shut 'til I choked it down.

Hey, when you are wrong: You are wrong. We're the first to admit it.

What we find funny about the abuse we have taken for making our prediction based on UF seeking insight from Zook is this: The abuse didn't come from Gator fans! Nope.

Sitemeter is cool. It lets you see where people visit your site from and which posts are linked. Someone posted a link to the Zook post on an Illini board. And the kind words insulting our intelligence, our mother and our appearance have been flung to our inbox by ILLINI fans!

"You dumbass! Bet you feel pretty stupid now after putting down Zook, don't you!"

"Looks like the only thing stupider than asking for Coach Zook's advice is listening to YOUR prediction, asshole"

And our favorite:

"Fuck you, you are a moron."

Who knew that Illini fans had such allegiance to Zook? Who knew that Illini fans are taking pride and revelling in the fact that their coach has a connection (regardless of the fact he was run out of town and asked never to return) to the National Champions.

Well, we can get into the spirit of that:

Here is a very nice article about Zook which references Chris Leak calling him after the game to thank Zook and let him know that everything Zook promised when he recruited Leak came true.

Congrats to the Fighting Illini and their "connection" to the NCAA Football Championship!

Your coach was run out of Gainesville and two years later UF won the National Title. If you guys act quickly and get rid of him; it'll be the ILLINI's turn in 2008!

Saban: Does He Believe His Own Lies?

2007-01-05T13:48:00.000-05:00

Want some of Nick's homemade lemonade?

We all know that Nick Saban jumped ship in Miami after weeks of denials of interest in the Alabama job. Nobody is surprised, and most aren't even indignant over the ongoing lie. Heck, looking back, the press conference in which Saban feigned being hurt and insulted by the question is now just a wonderful example of Saban's on camera ability to act with the best of them. They guy has a future in Hollywood when he finally burns every possible bridge in the football world.

Saban isn't the first coach to flat out lie about another job, and he sure won't be the last. Coaches have successfully conditioned us to accept that they will job hop in the most obscene of ways. And then act like nothing happened.

This Saban incident is a bit different, though. Not so much for the lie or the fact that he is heading back to college to supposedly help instill values in his players (cough, cough), but for the fact the he believes that he is above the truth and that he is some sort of victim in all this.

''I'm disappointed that I'm being victimized a little bit here,'' Saban said . ``That's really not the person I am. If you look at 35 years of work that I've done in this profession and my marriage and everything else, that's not who I am. That's not what I've done."

''When you lie to somebody, you're trying to deceive them,'' Saban said. ``I wasn't trying to deceive anybody. I was focused on the season, and I was working.''

Interesting stuff. So, basically, Saban didn't "lie" to the world, because he wasn't trying to deceive anyone? Really?! His saying that he wasn't interested and wouldn't take the Alabama job was not an act of deception? It wasn't an attempt to make people believe that he actually wasn't going to take the job, so they would leave him alone? And he is a victim because he is being portrayed as a liar after being untruthful? I guess in his mind it's all good, since the untruth that he told was something done in support of the job at hand.

''I really do regret that I was pinned into the corner,'' said Saban, who vehemently denied having any conversations with Alabama officials before the end of the season. ``I regret that there was not some kind of way that I could answer a question [like] that.''

Pinned into a corner? The implication is that he was forced to lie. No alternative. He couldn't say he was interested in the job. Obviously, that would be the incorrect thing to do, from a political standpoint. So, like a trapped animal fighting for his life, Saban was forced to go against everything he stands for and everything he has built the last 35 years upon...and lie. How painful it must have been for him! The pain is clear in his regrets: that he was pinned into a corner and if only there was some way he could answer the question. No regret that it tarnished those 35 years you worked so hard at, Nick?

What about just saying that he only wants to discuss THIS season. Not commenting. I mean, why not? He knew that the lie wasn't going to stop the questions. If the guy isn't a liar, if the guy really has built the last 35 years on not lying; then it should have been easy to just say no comment, right? Unless...well, unless the lie actually felt pretty natural for him.

And maybe it does. Saban didn't leave Michigan St or LSU in completely upfront circumstances either.

Either Saban is delusional and really doesn't believe that what he does is "lying"; or he just doesn't care and believes it will all wash under the bridge.

Either way, how can fans or recruits take him seriously when he says, "My next stop will be Lake Burton. That's where they made 'Deliverance' and they don't have a football team there."

The implication being that 'Bama will be his last stop.

We all know that big time college football is a sordid game. We all have seen coaches stretch the truth to its very limits when it was to their team's or their own benefit. No surprises here whatsoever. Hypocrisy abounds when these same guys demand loyalty from those above them and their players.

We accept the fact that it probably wasn't in Saban's best interest at the time to admit that he was flirting with Alabama. Everyone gets that. But Saban isn't satisfied with it. Nope. Nick has to absolve himself of responsibility and portray the situation as being limited to one choice: the lie. That it is not his fault he had to lie. And that it is unfair to call him a liar...after he was forced to lie. He is the victim here. And that is where Nick loses us.

It's one thing for him to piss on us and tell us it's raining. Hell, we get pissed on everyday. It's quite another for him to hand us a glass full of piss and tell us "it's lemonade, drink up!"

The only "victims" here are going to be the recruits that buy into Saban's line and are asked to give him their loyalty.

In return, they very well might be served up a nice glass of Saban lemonade.

On The Wire

2007-01-05T09:48:00.000-05:00

Bobby Bowden pilfers WVU offensive line coach...and Nick Saban pilfers FSU linebackers coach...is Saban also going to ruin Bowden's plan to hire Jimbo Fisher?....

The Dolphins may have lost Nick Saban...but Ricky Williams says he is on his way back...praise be!!....

Tank Johnson is getting some competition from Colts' backup DeDe Dorsey...who was arrested on gun charges after a traffic stop...guess the Darrant Williams shooting isn't having much of an effect on the boys in the league...don't they know that stats show that your chances of getting shot increase exponentially if you carry a weapon?

Drew Bledsoe is doing just fine...in case you were wondering...oh, you don't care?

and the Browns begin the process of building a winner...by keeping their head coach and players and purging the assistants....

Jason Taylor weighs his options...football or Hollywood?

Cris Collinsworth thinks that Dolphins fans are actually MUCH better off without Saban...

Is Michael Vick a Coach Killer?

2007-01-04T09:44:00.000-05:00

Ron Mexico: Did he play a role in Killing the Coach?

Awhile back, Jim Mora (the elder) made the comment that Michael Vick was a coach killer. Of course, this ruffled the feathers of Vick, and strained his relationship with Mora the younger. But, now that the scenario in ATL has played out, and Mora has been let go: Did Vick help kill him?

Obviously, the team's underchievement and Mora's comments on the radio about the University of Washington being his "dream job" were heavy factors in the equation. But, certainly, if Mora had Vick's support or endorsement, that would have meant a lot as well.

Vick has had an enigmatic career. Sometimes showing the brilliance of his potential; but, often looking flat out terrible. Even after the poor outings when the critics came calling, Mora always gave his full support.

When prodded towards the end of the year about his opinion on Mora's future, Vick stated, "Honestly, I really couldn't tell you what I'd say right now. I'd have to give it some thought and really evaluate what went down and what happened." Not exactly a ringing endorsement.

Vick has been outspoken about his dissatisfaction with the way the offense has been run, and his conflicts with the offensive coordinator are well known. So, it is not a huge surprise that he was unwilling to lend his support to the coaching staff.

It's interesting that, despite his complaints about the offensive not working and despite his relatively pedestrian passing statistics, Vick says, "I've accomplished a lot of good things this season and I feel like I've had one of my best seasons," he said. "Exactly where things went wrong, I really don't know."

So, Vick basically absolves himself of any responsibility for the Falcons' offensive struggles. I think anyone who checks his passing numbers and breaks down some film on his decision making would have some clear cut counterpoints to Vick's point of view on this.

The reality is that Vick is a huge investment for owner Arthur Blank, and he really hasn't gotten a whole lot back on it in the wins column. And if the franchise player doesn't give the impression that he is going to perform at a high level for the coach, well, that is a clear nail in the coffin.

"I wasn't frustrated or upset and didn't have a frown on my face when I said it. We have too much talent to be sitting in this position. I was just keeping it real.'' Vick made that statement after Mora tried to sugarcoat some of Vick's unhappiness with the offense. Once again, though, he accepts no responsibility for the poor play of the offense...even though he supposedly runs it on the field. Also, isn't it a bit hypocritical of Vick to say that the team has too much talent not to be at the top, while at the same time complaining that his passing stats aren't that good because he DOESN'T have enough quality receivers? So, when it comes to the coaching staff running the team; they don't do a good job and there is a ton of talent. But when it comes to Vick not being an effective passer; the receivers aren't good enough. Got it?

In yet another response to a coaching staff question, Vick said, "It's a question that needs to be answered," Vick said. "We're too good to be losing these games. We should be up there among the elite."

Jim Mora's team didn't perform to expectations and he made some dumb comments on his future job interests (even though it was certainly a joke). Clearly those things were the impetus behind Arthur Blank cutting Mora loose. But the lack of support and continued critical comments by Vick certainly were something that factored into the decision.

We aren't contending that Vick is obligated to support his coach. Particularly if he was unhappy with the direction the team was going. But we do think Vick bears some responsibility in the poor offensive showing of the Falcons. The guy IS the quarterback.

What we contend is this: Jim Mora, Sr. was correct. Michael Vick is a coach killer. He takes no responsibility for his own poor performances and blames it all on the system. While he is under no obligation to vocally support a coach if he doesn't believe in what the coach is doing; he does bear responsibility for his own level of play. To suggest that he personally had a great year and that whatever went wrong with the team is strictly the coaches' fault, might not be murder. But it sure is manslaughter.

On The Wire:

2007-01-04T00:06:00.000-05:00

Fans and sleuths around the country have been using website flightaware.com to track activity of airplanes to gather info on which coaches are travelling to which cities...in an effort to figure out coaching hirings and interviews...link to article...

Don Shula on Nick Saban leaving Miami for his son's old job at 'Bama: "My reaction to Nick Saban is that he was 15-17 with the Dolphins. I don't think that is any great loss."

Chicago Bears' DT Tank Johnson apparently had some interesting things going on at his house...authorities reveal that they found mucho marijuana and pills believed to be hydrocodone...a loaded semi-automatic rifle in his bedroom....550 rounds of ammo...a load .45 under a leather chair in the basement...four unloaded weapons...oh, and he has two little kids running around the house, too...Johnson might not win defensive player of the year, but he gets our vote for NFL father of the year...

Looks like Central Michigan is unable to match 'Bama's offer for Nick Saban...and has narrowed it's search to two other choices...

Anyone surprised that LSU fans are a little ticked off over the new Saban-'Bama marriage?...I mean...the guy did break a contract with LSU and is now back in the conference only two years later...

and, looks like Bill Cowher and Pete Carroll head the Dolphins' wish list for a new coach...good luck getting them, Wayne...

Pacman Jones...meet George Jones

2007-01-03T15:36:00.000-05:00

George and Pacman: The Jones's

Pacman Jones. You hear the name and the reflex action is to assume: In trouble with the law, again!

Well, not this time. Jones was the recipient of complaints. But it was a minor issue involving riding an ATV on land that was thought to be owned by country legend George Jones.

And the resolution of the issue lead to a meeting at Pacman's house between himself and George! Does anyone believe that Pacman had ANY clue who the Possum was when he showed up at his house?

The Butch Davis Era

2007-01-03T14:33:00.000-05:00

Mack Brown's teams may have kicked UNC's butts when John Bunting was the coach...but Butch Davis has already beaten Mack in their first battle...

The Butch Davis Era is getting underway at North Carolina with some fairly impressive happenings.

Davis has announced that Chuch Pagano, the secondary coach of the NFL's leading pass defense (the Raiders) is heading to Chapel Hill to be the defensive coordinator.

Additionally, Davis has swiped a top 20 recruit, tight end Zack Pianalto, from the University of Texas. Pretty impressive when a coach can steal recruits from Mack Brown. Pianalto said it was difficult to explain withdrawing his commitment to Texas coach Mack Brown. "He was pretty upset," Pianalto said, "but it's understandable." Sure it is. But hey, Mack: Remember back in 1997 before you left North Carolina for Texas? Remember? Yeah, you remember. When you told your team you weren't leaving and then the next day you were on ESPN at a press conference in Austin accepting the job. So...you know...don't get TOO upset at the kid.

Why Do We Bother?

2007-01-03T13:33:00.000-05:00

A confused Nick Saban is told that, no, Alabama is the team that was the highest bidder.

Nick Saban is getting some sort of guaranteed contract in the vicinity of $32M to leave the Dolphins and take over the football program at Alabama. That's all well and good, and not entirely unexpected. Wave $32M guaranteed in front of most folks, and their knees certainly will at least buckle...if not completely hit the ground. The reality is, there is nothing wrong with him leaving the Dolphins after only two years. The question is: Why do we bother ASKING coaches what their plans are before the season is over? And...why do the coaches bother answering?

'Bama probably has been having wet dreams about Saban from the day the Tide first lost this year. They were like a kid in third grade with his first pitched tent in his pants. Afraid to get up out of his seat for awhile. But eventually, passing notes and trying to catch the eye of his first love.

Saban was bombarded with questions about his interest in 'Bama. Was he going to take the job? Had he interviewed? Was he staying? And on and on. And on and on. In an effort to make the noise go away, Saban predictably said he had no interest and wasn't going anywhere. But in this case, and 'Bama being 'Bama, the noise didn't go away. The administration at 'Bama made it clear that they wanted Saban regardless of what he said. The press corps in Alabama never let the story die down. And of course, everyone has their price. It's doubtful that ANYONE batted an eye at Saban leaving. Regardless of the "I'm not going to be the coach at Alabama" mumbo jumbo that came out of his mouth previously.

But, WHY all the media storm from the day Shula was fired until today? We are all reasonable people (HA, just kidding) and know that a coach is not going to give us details in the middle of the season as to what his plans are for future jobs. We have seen (too many times to count) coaches say they are staying; and leave. Now, of course many stay, but we don't get the hard, naked truth until the schedule is complete. So, why bother? Why even ask when we KNOW damned well that chances are we aren't getting the full story? Logically, what coach is going to say (in the middle of the season), "I'm planning on leaving for a different job." We have never been a coach, but we do guess that saying such a thing might get you fired. And you might not be ready to go, just yet.

Understanding that the media loves to throw gas on a fire and never let such things die down, why do the coaches allow themselves to be turned into liars?

Why not just say: "I'm not addressing anything that doesn't have to do with THIS season." Now, obviously, that leaves the door open for speculation and for the media to continue to hammer the issue. But, at least it doesn't turn the coach into a liar. And, as we have seen, if the coach says he isn't leaving...that doesn't seem to slow down the media speculation either. So again, why bother?

We know damned well the answer to whether a coach is staying or going (unless he is fired mid-season) isn't going to be answered until the season is over. But it seems the sportzaratzi media is no different than the folks that follow Britney and K-Fed. The story simply becomes the proliferation of the story.

(Here is a column by Dan LeBatard in Miami's paper...see, this is what happens when these coaches stand by their pat "I'm not going anywhere" answers during the season and then jump ship without looking back when it ends...apparently, SOME people believe them and get their feelings hurt)

Michael Irvin's carnivorous suit

2006-12-31T12:11:00.000-05:00

Did you catch the suit Michael Irvin was wearing today? WOW!

Mike Ditka had this to say: "and those are great words...coming from a man in a carnivorous suit. I think I saw that thing out in my yard earlier this week."

This is Irvin's BEST effort to offend viewers eyes YET!

Holiday Cheer, From NC: Merry Castration To All!

2006-12-30T17:35:00.000-05:00

In North Carolina, to enjoy the holidays with family. A perusal of local news brought this item to light. Just thought we'd share it. Kind of let you see how North Carolinians celebrate the holidays and get down at Christmas Parties.

A woman was charged with malicious castration for allegedly attacking a man during a Christmas party, police said. Rebecca Arnold Dawson, 34, is accused of grabbing the genitals of a 38-year-old man during a fight that erupted early Tuesday morning at a party hosted by the man's girlfriend. All three were heavily intoxicated, Lillington Police Chief Frank Powers said.

The full story didn't mention if this took place under the mistletoe...because then, well...you know, then it would be understandable.

At the Water Cooler

2006-12-30T12:19:00.000-05:00

Well, good news for Alabama (we guess)....someone wants the head coach job there..."I don't know where we're going from here," said Joe Kines, the interim coach and defensive coordinator for Alabama. "I would give anything to be the head coach at Alabama."

Jason Taylor isn't the only defensive player of the year candidate speaking out against Shawne Merriman...Champ Bailey has some choice words on the issue, too...

Funny, a punter has the cajones to own up to testing positive for a banned substance...too bad a certain toughguy linebacker doesn't... “I took (ephedra),” said new Patriots punter Todd Sauerbrun, before saying that he knew it was banned. “I made that choice, I made that mistake, I paid for it."

Is Tiki Barber paying attention in team meetings, or is his mind on his post football plans...hey, at least the guy isn't falling asleep in there, right TO?...

The Weak Argument For Merriman

2006-12-29T18:01:00.000-05:00

The "enhanced" player of the year...

We posted the other day on Jason Taylor's comments regarding Shawne Merriman (IRT defensive player of the year voting).

Today, the hometown paper of the Charger's, the San Diego Union-Tribune, ran a column pretty much stating: i) Taylor was just trying to get himself the defensive POY and ii) that having a "convicted" performance enhancer as the player of the year was just fine. The homer writer of this column must be doing some extra sucking up to get on Merriman and the Chargers' good side.

"A data search of players who previously tested positive for steroids made no mention of critical remarks by Taylor, including in 2002 when Carolina end Julius Peppers was named Defensive Rookie of the Year despite serving a four-game suspension for violating the league's policy. Why no moral indignation from Taylor then? Could it be that the situation didn't directly affect Taylor, unlike this one?"

First of all, Julius Peppers didn't test positive for STEROIDS. He tested positive for phentermine. Phentermine is on the banned list, not so much for its performance enhancing effects, but moreso because it is (like ephedrine) a compound which is usually used in trying to burn body fat and can be very harmful to some people. Additionally, SO WHAT? What is wrong with standing up and pointing out the fact that the guy that is probably you closest rival for this particular award is..........A CHEATER? Whatsmore, this isn't a case of a rumor or behind the scenes stuff: Merriman tested positive for NANDROLONE (a steroid). Maybe Taylor's interest in casting the spotlight on this is selfish; but, the effects could benefit other players.

"Since Taylor is a candidate for the award himself, an alarm of suspicion began ringing. Might he be tearing down a colleague to prop up himself?"

Merriman tore himself down by using the steroids. If he hadn't, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Don't blame Taylor for this.

"When I submitted my All-Pro ballot to Pro Football Weekly, in conjunction with the Pro Football Writers of America, I listed Merriman as the Defensive Player of the Year. And when I enter the room of Pro Football Hall of Fame selectors in February for the first time, I will vote for former Cowboys wide receiver Michael Irvin.

And now, the argument itself gets so weak, one wouldn't be surprised if it got on some performance enhancers:

What does Michael Irvin's situation of having OFF the field recreational drug and law issues have to do with Merriman's using performance enhancing drugs (that are taken to elevate one's level of play ON the field)? Irvin's situation is about character and whether off the field life should be taken into account in evaluating a player's qualifications to make the Hall of Fame. Irvin never failed performance drug tests and was never called a cheater. Merriman's situation is about whether a guy who tested positive for using performance enhancing drugs should be the player of the year for the same period of time that it is PROVEN he was using performance enhancing drugs. Does anyone see ANY connection here? Didn't think so...

"In each situation, the guidelines implicitly or explicitly ask that we cast our votes based on a player's dominance. Irvin was a dominant performer then, and Merriman is now."

Agreed. Irvin was a dominant performer. And Frank Sinatra was a great singer. How does either relate to Merriman? They don't! The guidelines may implicitly or explicity ask that votes be cast based on a player's dominance. But they don't implicitly or explicity ask that voters dismiss the fact that a minimum of half the season's dominance (and, having a knowledge of performance enhancers and how long the effects can last, we would suggest the entire season) under the influence of documented steroid use be dismissed. Again, this has nothing to do with the debate about OFF the field issues, a la Irvin.

While, this homer columnist builds an incredibly weak agrument in support of Merriman, probably in an effort to gain points with Merriman and the Chargers, what if he is right? It begs the question: If voters are correct in disregarding PERFORMANCE enhancing drug usage and failed tests in deciding the player of the year; why bother testing at all?

In fact, I bet this guy would vote for Justin Gatlin as Track Athlete of the Year and Floyd Landis as Cyclist of they year...if they were from San Diego.

If we aren't supposed to care that the guy that gets player of the year is a juice monkey, then it is a complete charade and disservice to go through the motions of having a performance enhancement testing program in the NFL at all.

Give the Defensive Player of the Year Award to Shawne Merriman, if you must. But the next day, tear up the banned substance list and tell the boys they don't have to fill up anymore plastic cups.

Props to Some of the Non-Mainstream Media from CNNSI.COM

2006-12-28T11:02:00.000-05:00

From cnnsi.com's 2006 Media Awards:

THE NONCORPORATE SPORTS WEB SITE OF THE YEAR: Fire Joe Morgan (http://firejoemorgan.blogspot.com/). The sabermetrically inclined band at FJM hilariously deconstructs baseball writers daily. Outside of Joe Morgan himself, no one has been skewered more than MSNBC's Mike Celizic. (SI.com writers have been sawed up as well.) Best to stay on these guys' good side. Or avoid writing about the sport at all costs.

Honorable mention: Sports Media Guide (sportsmediaguide.com), The Big Lead (TheBigLead.com), SportsJournalists.com (sportsjournalists.com), Gelfmagazine.com (click for sports and leisure).

If you haven't checked these sites out, you should. Great info from a different perspective and different motive than the corporate sites.

Who is the Defensive Player of the Year?

2006-12-27T23:53:00.000-05:00

Dolphins' DE Jason Taylor is having a monster season. He has taken his game to another level this year and is at or near the top of the list discussing the defensive player of the year.

During a press conference, Taylor did some lobbying for his cause by bringing up the suspension of his chief rival, Shawne "Tainted Supplement" Merriman.

"A performance-enhancing drug is, obviously, what it is," Taylor said. "You enhance your performance by doing that. You fail that test, I think it's not right, it's against the rules and ultimately I think it's sending the wrong message to the youth in America and the people who look at this game not only as entertainment but also to learn lessons from it."

Certainly, Taylor has an interest in voters snubbing Merriman because of his suspension. But, what if some feel that Merriman satisfied his punishment requirements during his suspension and that holding it against him further would be unfair? There is no specification stating that the player of the year can't be someone that was suspended.

"If I wasn't having the kind of season I'm having, this wouldn't even be a conversation," Merriman said. "The NFL will always have the level of integrity. That's what makes the NFL. In my situation, everything happened in an appropriate way. I sat out my four games, my money was taken away from me, my four games were taken away from me, and I came back and played my rear off."

Sounds like Merriman feels he is a viable candidate. And he is correct, if he wasn't having the kind of season he is, of course this wouldn't be a conversation. But, the fact is, the guy is having an amazing season AND tested positive for steroids. There is no getting around this. How can his performance not be questioned? He has stuck by his tainted supplement excuse, but so what? That changes nothing. It proves nothing. The only thing that has been proven is that he had nandrolone in his system.

Regardless of whether or not there is a written rule concerning suspensions for performance enhancers and player of the year awards: The folks that decide these awards have a responsibility to the rest of the players in the league. Yes, Merriman had to oblige by the league's ruling and serve the suspension. That was his punishment. That was the DIRECT result of his failing the drug test. That is what the collective bargaining agreement and league rules agree is the penalty.

Not getting the player of the year award? Well, that is the repercussion. It is not some sort of extra punishment. It is the INDIRECT result of his failing the drug test. And it is something that the folks that decide the player of year owe the players that are not failing drug tests.

The rules don't say that a proven doper can't be the player of the year. But they don't say that voters can't take his documented use of performance enhancers into consideration as well.

Joe Theisman: Brokers Peace Between Daunte Culpepper and Steve Young

2006-12-26T15:45:00.000-05:00

Hey, Steve, you've got something on your lip...

Interesting event during the Jets-Fins Monday Night Football event. Apparently, during his visit to the booth, Steve Young made some comments questioning the work ethic of Dolphins' recovering QB Daunte Culpepper. Young stated that Culpepper was missing meetings and not stepping up. From his comfortable suite seat, Culpepper watched the proceedings and felt he needed to set the record straight.

Culpepper ended up heading to the ESPN booth to let Young know that he was mistaken in his characterization of Culpepper. In what was described as an amicable meeting, Culpepper let Young know that he received some incorrect info, and that the only meetings he missed were due to surgery.

And, thanks be to God for all involved, Joe Theisman sauntered up to the pow wow to ensure that everything stayed peaceful and to get the correct story. Which he later relayed on the air in an effort to clear things up. That Joe, such a diplomat.

Anyway, the part of the story that is of interest to us is this:

"Young said he would like to see Culpepper be more visible and vocal about his desire to take over the Dolphins' quarterback job. He wants to see him step forward, being more of a team leader during his rehabilitation. "

"I want Daunte to let us know,'' Young said. 'I want him to give us that, `I'm going to take this job.' I want Daunte to be that guy. But until he's healthy, he really can't be. I want to perceive him as the new sheriff in town.''

Now, we realize, Steve Young is a Hall of Fame QB, but...seriously; in what world do we live in that Daunte Culpepper has to live up to Young's expectations? If Culpepper is concentrating on getting back in the physical condition to play and meeting coach Nick Saban's expectations of what he expects a guy on IR to be doing: who gives a monkey turd about Young's input or what Young would like to see?

What really gets us is the "but until he's healthy, he really can't be" line. Umm, Steve, if you agree the guy can't be the team leader and can't project the attitude that he is going to take the job until he is recovered and fully rehabbed; then what the hell did you bring any of this up for? Why speculate about Culpepper's work ethic (particularly when you admitted you never checked the rumors out) and why demand that he be the "new sheriff in town" when YOU yourself admit that he can't do it until he is healthy?

Did you know Steve Young has a law degree? How'd you like to have a lawyer that exhibits this sort of logic defending you? Us either.

Bartender, we'd like to buy Steve Young a round. How bout a nice tall glass of "shut the fuck up".

King Me: Penultimate Edition

2006-12-25T00:03:00.000-05:00

And it's time for our Christmas installment of this week in Peter King:

Let's see if Santa is giving Peter a lump of coal for his picks this week. We already know Peter is getting a lump of shit for the season thus far. (Peter in black, reality in red):

Lou Merloni called the other day. Remember Lou? He came up with the Red Sox as an infielder and went on to play for the Padres, Indians and Angels. Now he's trying to catch on with some National League team as a utility infielder. I got to know him a few years ago talking fantasy football in the Indians' clubhouse in spring training.

"Hey,'' he said, "I'm in the playoffs against Hafner.'' I knew immediately who he meant -- Travis Hafner. The Indians/Buffalo Bisons Triple-A team fantasy football league. I'm sure it has a more formal name, but he called out of the blue to shoot the breeze about who to play and who not to play. Since he knows more about the NFL than 99.9 percent of the human race, I was going to be of no good use to him.

Either Peter is making this up, or Lou Merloni has never read a Peter King column. Anyone that has ever read so much as one week of his fantasy advice would NEVER ask again...Let's change the "him" to "anyone" in Peter's last phrase; and put it on his tombstone.

Now onto the tips of the week:

1. It'd surprise me if Favre doesn't have a big night against Minnesota on Thursday. First of all, he's good at going to school on what other teams do to opponents, and Chad Pennington just had his best game of the year against the Viking secondary. Secondly, the Pack's not going to run much on these Vikes. Thirdly, it's going to be 35 and spitting a cold rain; the Vikes are not a cold-weather team. Just a hunch, but I think Favre's going to have a two-touchdown, 250-yardish night.

good at going to school on what other teams do to opponents?...what a bullshit "point"...unless he hasn't "gone to school" against most of his opponents the past two years when he has played like garbage, this is a bullshit thing to suggest as being a factor in him having a "big game" this week...Favre did his best to give the game away with two interceptions...in the end he threw for 285 and 0 TD...and overall was pretty crappy...

2. Something smells rotten about the Bengals in Denver on Sunday. Palmer's shoulder hurts. Chad Johnson's got a bad ankle. Denver might be frightfully cold. I don't know. I wouldn't recommend you bench Palmer unless you've got a cushy alternative, but if you do, you've got some thinking to do. Merloni's in his title game, and he has till Sunday to decide if he should play Palmer at Denver or Cleveland's Derek Anderson at home against Tampa Bay. I don't like either alternative much, but I told Lou to monitor the injury Web sites throughout the weekend to see about Palmer's wing.

I give Peter credit for suggesting that Lou get his information on injuries from a source other than Peter...Peter's history in that department has been that special type of shit that it takes an entire roll of TP to wipe clean...this is the BEST tip Peter has EVER given: go somewhere else for the information. FINALLY, a Peter King tip EVERYONE can implement without worrying about looking like a jackass later...

3. Play Ron Dayne if you're in a running-back pickle this weekend. He's going against the Colts at home, and Gary Kubiak's wary of putting the game in the hands of badly slumping David Carr.

the brilliance of Peter's previous tip has seeped into this one...Dayne rolled for over 150 yards and a couple of TDs....Go, Peter, Go!

4. I know the Patriots have been aces against the run this year, but with Fred Taylor either out or badly hobbled with the bad hammy, I think Maurice Jones-Drew is a solid play at home.

WOW! Peter is on a roll, after giving his greatest tip ever!...maybe that tip took all the pressure off?...I dunno...but this is the FIRST time he has EVER had two straight tips that were TOTALLY on point...we are off to buy a powerball ticket RIGHT now..

5. Go get Seattle wideout D.J. Hackett off waivers. You'll appreciate the advice when he catches six balls Sunday against the Chargers. No Darrell Jackson (toe) means lots of Hackett.

ohhhhhh...and the hottest streak of Peter's season ends...at two: 3 catches for Hackett.

6. Aaron Brooks is 1-15 in his past 16 starts. Do not play him unless you are threatened at gunpoint to do so.

...and Peter confirms that his run of brilliance is over...did you hear that?...all you guys that were gonna start Aaron Brooks in your playoffs...did you hear that?...Peter's tip was not to play him...Thanks, fuckstick...we are forced at gunpoint to stop being nice to Peter after a "nose on your face" tip like that...

7. I'm not saying LaDainian Tomlinson is going to be sitting a quarter or two against Seattle, but you could do worse than to play Michael Turner as well. He's back from his ouchy hamstring.

Tomlinson rushed for over 120 on 22 carries...Turner got the ball 4 times for 29 yards..the old Peter has reared his ugly head...and stuck it up his ass...

8. No way you can pick up Arnaz Battle this weekend, is there? He's Alex Smith's favorite receiver now, and he's going to make hay against Arizona.

if "hay" is a whopping 55 yards and 0 TDs...then Battle had a "hay" day...

9. Eddie Kennison will have a tough matchup this weekend, going against Oakland cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha. But the desperation of the Chiefs, plus the running-game struggles of the offense in the past couple of weeks, should result in six or eight balls being thrown at Kennison on Saturday.

was going to check the play by play and see how many times Kennison got thrown to...but then realized...who the fuck cares...you don't get FANTASY points for the number of times you are thrown to...and these are supposedly fantasy tips....Kennison: 1 catch for 6 yards..

10. I've told you good things about David Thomas, the New England tight end playing in the shadow of Ben Watson and Daniel Graham. This is the week, at Jacksonville, that Thomas could be the offensive factor he's been trained to be.

83 yards and a TD...this is hands down Peter's best week ever.

Peter roared to 4 correct tips this week. And gave his most worthwhile tip yet: Check with someone else.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Peter King, your football expert and fantasy guru.

SAY WHAT?

2006-12-24T20:28:00.000-05:00

ESPN announcer Mark Jones is Still Tippin' with Mike Jones...

Tell me this didn't happen:

While watching the Hawaii Bowl, the announcer on ESPN (Mark Jones) made this comment while talking about Arizona St running back Mike Jones:

"and just like the rapper, Mike Jones...back then, they didn't want him...now he's hot and they are all on him..."

SHOOT ME! Just SHOOT ME!

Zook: The Man is A Magician

2006-12-23T11:09:00.000-05:00

Ron Zook, the coolest white man in college football, gives a pep talk to the Fighting Illini marching band: "And this one time, at band camp..."

Zook does it again! He pulled an oral commitment from another top 50 recruit. And, at the kid's press conference, yet another top recruit was in attendance watching. Is he going to be making an announcement soon also?

Martez Wilson, a two way star, said, "I like this dude. He wasn't an uptight white coach."

So, maybe, there we have have it. Ron Zook's secret for somehow convincing top high schoolers to attend a program that has been abysmal for the past few years: Not being an uptight white dude.

We are waiting for a white UCLA recruit to come out and say of Karl Dorrell: "I liked him. He wasn't a jive talking black cat."

At the Watercooler

2006-12-22T11:02:00.000-05:00

Interesting week for USC: Norm Chow disses the offensive coaches, Keyshawn Johnson disses Dewayne Jarrett and senior offensive lineman Kyle Williams disses the team...

Everyone, everywhere has a connection to Marshall, it seems: FSU, Memphis, U of Buffalo, some high school coach... if YOU are connected in some why to Marshall, let us know...we care...really...

Maryland lineman chooses serving in Army over final year of eligibility...

The Nick Saban to 'Bama rumors refuse to go away...

Ken Griffey, Jr.'s injuries continue...even at home...

Hey, Oregon coach Mike Bellotti: want some whine with that cheese? BYU kicked his team's butt...and all Bellotti can do is pout...

Boston College's rabble rousing kicker is suspended again...

Is Art Shell's second go round as head coach with the Raiders one and done?....

Rex Grossman in the Pro Bowl? Boy, Brian Urlacher sure is trying to boost his QB's confidence...

We all know that Chris Weinke isn't real good...but did you know he has lost 17...yes 17...straight games as a starter?...how the hell does this guy have a job?...

ESPN: Please Stop The McConaughey Whore Parade

2006-12-20T19:17:00.000-05:00

Mateo, living in his world of delusion, tells real Marshall Coach Mark Snyder, "Go sit over there in the stands, I'm running the show from now on."

Ok, it was bad enough that Mateo McConaughey was the special entertainment guest on MNF this week. Trust us: IT WAS BAD ENOUGH!

Just watching SportsCenter, something we only normally do in bits and pieces, but today got off work early and watched the whole thing. To our horror: MATEO. In his hideous montgomery green Marshall sweat jacket that he seems to be wearing everywhere he goes.

The segment was on an Ohio St. walk-on football player who was paralyzed, and is now struggling to try to walk again. Touching story: the team gave him a jersey and he is still considered part of the team. But there was Mateo. In super serious voice, hamming it up. This is completely unfair and unnecessary. "We Are Marshall" is NOT even a Disney movie, for Christ sakes! Why is the WWL forcing Mateo and the movie down our throats? Is this marketing or is ESPN deluded enough to think football fans want to hear what that fruitcake has to say about football?

Please, we are begging you ESPN. You can dress Mateo in all the burnt orange you want and plop him on the sideline of every UT game. We don't care. You can clothe him in that hideous shade of green from head to toe and have him write a thesis on Cover 2 or the merits of a verticle offensive philosophy. We don't care. We are on to the fact that the guy has never played a down of football and is NOT really a coach, mmkay? Put him back in the deluded green room of stars that can't tell their movie roles from reality. You know the room, the one with Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes and the young Bert Reynolds. Put him in that room and lock the damned door! Then set it on fire. We can't take it anymore. Mateo isn't even featured on perezhilton.com as often as he is on ESPN: PLEASE SHOW SOME MERCY!

Dancin' Mormons in Vegas

2006-12-20T13:45:00.001-05:00

Apparently, during a pre-game rally for the Las Vegas Bowl (between BYU and Oregon) the Cougars decided to give a demonstration of their pregame ritual. The Cougs like to do a Haka, a Maori war dance (if you have ever seen the New Zealand national rugby team play, they do it pre-game), before their games. A member of Oregon's team, who is of Polynesian descent, apparently took offense and jumped the barrier between the teams and started a minor incident.

We said all along it was a dangerous mix: Mormons and Vegas. Now you know why Joseph Smith and the founding elders outlawed dancing. Nothing good can come of it.

On The Wire

2006-12-20T12:51:00.000-05:00

Carmello Anthony suffers his first "endorsement" repercussions because of the fight...

'Bama just not taking "no" from Nick Saban...

Who will fill Bill Cowher's shoes if he leaves Pittsburgh after this season: "the Steelers did not become an elite NFL franchise, the winner of five Super Bowls, by looking around the corner for their next coach"...um, the Steelers have had TWO head coaches since 1969. They haven't exactly been real involved in coaching searches at all...

Sounds like former Pats' linebacker Ted Johnson is lobbying for a job...

Stevie Francis: Shut Up!

2006-12-19T10:42:00.000-05:00

Steve Francis thinks there is a racial aspect to why the Knicks' brawl with the Nuggets has gotten so much coverage and why the penalties were so severe. "In other sports, there are incidents that are way worse than basketball," the Knicks guard said. "But because there are more black players in the NBA, it's under the microscope more than baseball or hockey." -- New York Post

Would someone please remind this dipshit about the fight between the Pacers and Pistons that ended up involving fans and a full blown riot on the court. If he wants to know why the punishments were so "severe", he need look no further than that. Commissioner David Stern made it clear that fights would be dealt with severely. If the NBA clowns choose to push their luck and guys like Carmello Anthony want to have slap and run fights; hey, tough shit. You were all warned! Oh, and Stevie, try earning the money in your contract and shutting that mouth of yours. Nobody cares what washed up never reached their potential superstars have to say about this stuff anyway....

What Does Peter King Think When He Isn't F'ing Up Fantasy Tips?

2006-12-18T20:17:00.000-05:00

Ok, it's well documented that Peter King sucks at giving fantasy tips. It's pretty well known that he is a melba toast columnist, supposedly with a pipeline to inside info, but rarely telling us anything we don't already know. Well, Peter has a section of his Monday Morning QB column that he calls "my non-football thoughts of the week". We figured we'd take a look at it this week and see if maybe Peter is just a crappy football guy...if maybe his non-football thoughts are relevent, insightful or on-point...you know, everything his football thoughts are not..

I think these are my non-football thoughts of the week:

a. I see Prince is set to sing at halftime of the Super Bowl. What, Bobby Vinton wasn't available?

ok, he starts off with an attempt at humor...we like that...but who is Bobby Vinton?...oh an old time matinee idol singer, you say?...ok, good one Peter...way to be in tune with pop culture...

b. If there was a better two hours of TV last week than the two-hour House episode with Foreman near death, I didn't see it. Of course, I didn't watch much TV other than that.

nice...kinda playing on the Sports Guy's schtick...bringing tv into his column...oh, and then some irony...it was the only show he watched....giggles for everyone...see, Peter IS funny...and Peter IS with it...

c. Upon further review re Borat: I laughed more at Best in Show. Don't get me wrong. Borat is a good movie. It's just not the funniest movie of all time.

well, with comedy credentials like Peter's, how could we dispute this?...I mean, Peter is the guy that came up with this classic on the Jaguars performance this week: More turnovers than a Betty Crocker cookbook...deal with that zinger, Borat!

d. Coffeenerdness: I've got to tell you, Joe Torre and Phil Simms selling the green tea makes it really easy for me to have a big mug of it every afternoon. Smart ad strategy,Bigelow.

No doubt, Peter...who knows tea like Joe and Phil?...and if those guys say it's good...well, shit...sign me up, too!..hell, I'd buy dried elephant dung and make tea out of it if Joe and Phil said I should...

e. I am not the biggest NBA guy, as readers of this column must know. In fact, I'm not an NBA guy at all. But these Phoenix Suns are amazing to me. Imagine looking at the NBA schedule when it comes out if you're a Sun or Suns exec, and seeing a five-games-in-seven-nights East Coast trip (Thursday-Friday-Sunday-Monday-Wednesday), starting in the swamps of Jersey and ending in the home of the NBA champs, Miami. You'd sign for a 3-2 trip, wouldn't you? And when the first game is a double-overtime thriller (161-157 over the Nets), you wonder how much energy the team will have to play three games in the next four nights. Well, I guess the East is pathetic right now, but what Phoenix did on this trip is something special. Win by four over New Jersey, win by five in Boston, win by 30 in Charlotte, win by 14 in Orlando, win by 10 in Miami. Then they fly cross-country. One day off. And Friday they beat Golden State at home by four, and fly after the game to Sacramento to play the Kings on Saturday night. Win by seven. The final ridiculous tally: seven games in 10 nights, seven wins.

eh?...what?....oh...Sorry, any thought of Peter's that takes more than three sentences to get across...well, we certainly can't be bothered to read it...

f. Steve Nash. Drew Brees.

Umm, like, yeah..except Nash has won two straight MVPs...but other than that, they are one in the same...

g. The Daisuke Matsuzaka deal seems fair for both sides. The Red Sox pay $16.7 million a year for the best pitcher in free-agency (combining the fee to the Japanese team with the pitcher's salary). Good for them, in this crazy baseball economy. And Matsuzaka gets $8.5 million a year, knowing he's going to make millions more in endorsements (in two countries) if he's as good as he thinks he is. Re the $16.7 million a year ... Gil Meche got $11 mill. Barry Zito's going to get $16. Don't the scouts all think Matsuzaka's a can't-miss guy? Maybe not can't-miss ace, but at least can't-miss 15-game winner.

yes, I'm sure Red Sox management is hoping that Daisuke pans out to be the next Gil Meche...

h. Bill Parcells to me after the Cowboys-Falcons game: "You must be pretty happy. You signed the Japanese pitcher.'' Well, uh, shucks, I don't deserve all the credit for the signing.

and now you know why Parcells is always in such a foul mood at press conference...who can blame him...the fucker has to talk to PETER after coaching football games...

i. Sox rotation April 2-4-5 in Kansas City to open the season: Schilling, Beckett, Matsuzaka.

ummm...does Schilling know the Sox are going with that old time favorite...the three man rotation this year?...his old ass can't be happy about that....

j. Finally saw March of the Penguins. Can't believe I avoided it all these months. A terrific movie. Those penguins are heroes, as are the French filmmakers who risked their lives to tell their story. And great, understated narration by Morgan Freeman.

we have a strange suspicion that actually, March of the Penguins was the one avoiding Peter...and Peter loses even more points for calling anything French a hero...

k. I could listen to Morgan Freeman read a list of ingredients for cream of broccoli soup and be captivated.

agreed, Freeman is a wonderful narrator...although we'd wager that if he were forced to read your "coffeenerdness" entry...his wonderful voice would end up sounding like nails on a chalkboard...

Spoop Jackson: AI Can't Get Traded Because He's BLACK?

2006-12-18T15:31:00.000-05:00

Spoop Jackson, up to his race baiting again; albeit a bit more subtly. In this week's installment of Spoop's tripe, he brings up the issue of race in the AI trade saga, says it isn't necessarily based on color; but then decides that of course it has SOMETHING to do with color: what doesn't, right?

"Why are Iverson's services not being embraced? By anyone."

Dunno, Spoop, you tell us. We know it couldn't be the contract, his age, his problems with authority, etc. It has to be his race, right? I mean...white owners and black players. Trades. It reeks of slavery and institutional racism. The "man" doesn't want Iverson playing just to show the brothas who run shit, right?

"Ask yourself the question: Would it take Steve Nash this long to be traded if he were on the block? Your honest answer would be, No. Now the question you must ask yourself is "Why?"

Because Steve Nash is WHITE!!! Gotta be that. Gotta be! We all know, whenever a black superstar is on the block or wants traded, it never happens. Ask Vince and Shaq. If they were white, they would have gotten their wish and been traded, and they'd be out of Toronto and LA! What? Oh, they were traded when they demanded to be? Oh, well...that must be some kind of reverse racial preferential racist patronization.

"And before anyone goes there, the analogy is not necessary based on color (although I'd be a hypocrite to say that this has nothing to do with color). I could pose the same question about Gilbert Arenas or Kevin Garnett. Carmelo Anthony, for that matter. But even that's not it. The question of "Why?" with AI is not a question of him being black, but the type of black person he is."

Umm..."before" anyone goes there? Spoop, ya dipshit, YOU already WENT there. And you wouldn't be a hypocrite to say that it has nothing to do with color. Being black and not constantly throwing the race card on the table DOESN't make one a hypocrite, ya heard, Too Short? Ahh, but there it is. It is the TYPE of black person AI is. Funny, since you gave us all those examples of other black guys that probably would be traded in a heartbeat: maybe it really is more the type of PERSON AI is. Leave the black out of the equation. If you can use other examples, and they are black players, then the rules of logic dictate that you can leave the black on the side. Type of person. Let's leave it at that. We wouldn't want to say "type of black person" and reinforce those stereotypes YOU work so hard to breakdown, Spoop.

"His Cablinasian is that of Michael Vick, Barry Bonds, Ray Lewis, Jeremy Shockey and Mike Tyson … with something extra."

Cablinasian? Umm...that is someone of caucasian, black, (American) Indian and Asian ancestry. Tiger Woods is the person that coined the word. I'm not even going to pretend to understand WTF Spoop is getting at with that one. Must have been on his word of the day calendar and he decided to force it into his column no matter what.

"And that extra has everything to do with who he is as a person. And that extra is what most of the NBA teams are afraid of."

Fair enough. And if NBA teams are afraid of who he is as a person (and by the way, thanks for changing the "type of black person he is " to "who he is as a person") then what is the problem? NBA teams aren't allowed to consider character and personality when they make trades?

"But mostly they're afraid that the words "mercurial" and "magnet for trouble" that have followed him throughout his career will follow him to their team."

Gotchya, Spoop. Teams shouldn't be concerned with reputation, perception, character or any of those things. They should just sign 8 digit checks and STFU, right?

"And even with all that, we have to ask whether it should have taken this long?"

Agreed. As followers of the NBA, we are the litmus test for deciding who teams should trade for and how long it should take to turn a deal. Oh, you don't mean "we" as in fans? You mean "we" as in brothas? Oh...ok. Sorry, us white fans will stay out of this one. We'll let the brothas decide how teams should spend their millions.

"At the end of every day, every day Iverson remains untraded, a sociological issue in sports goes unanswered. Further reminding us that professional sports is not a game."

Clearly, there is something sinister amidst when an aging superstar, with a checkered past and an enormous contract, can't get traded the very second he demands it. It must be a deeply rooted sociological issue that transcends sports and is symptomatic of our culture (American culture, not hip-hop culture, Spoop...). The idea that the Sixers won't trade him at the drop of a hat for pennies on the dollar. The idea that other teams won't mortgage their future on him. The notion, that NO, sports isn't just a game: it's a billion dollar business and the folks that are at the top of the food chain feel obligated to protect their interests. And in protecting those interests, sometimes people don't get what they want when they want it.

The NBA is not about "type of black person", it is about the color of money.

This has nothing to do with the type of "black person" AI is, Spoop. Plenty of black folks with shadier pasts, more ghetto connections and bigger issues have been traded and picked up by other teams. This has to do with the contract, with the issues with authority, with the attitude and with the NEEDS of the teams involved. As a person, AI's past makes many wonder about his future with their team.

King Me: Weak 15

2006-12-18T10:52:00.000-05:00

On to Peter King's Weak 15 tips (as always, Peter's "tips" in black, reality in red):

With my advice being as sketchy as it's been -- the Dallas-New Orleans game was 10 seconds old when Julius Jones, who I'd told you to sit, bolted from Irving to San Antonio on the Cowboys' first series last week -- I'm amazed you're logging on for this. But I'll try to do better this week. Promise. My 10 tips:

I assure you Peter, no one is logging in for your "tips"...we are logging in to laugh our asses off at the fact that you get paid for this...and we don't...wait, actually...that isn't all that funny...

1. I like Matt Leinart a lot playing at home against Denver. Three straight weeks of completing over 60 percent, and now he faces a once-formidable Denver defense, which is starting to look like it's playing out the string. Play Leinart.

And Leinhart promptly throws for 214 yards, 0 Tds and 2 INTs...woohoo...off to a typical Peter King start...a guy doing perfectly fine...until Peter zaps him...

2. Speaking of the Cards on offense, the Broncos will be all over Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald. I like Bryant Johnson's fit in this offense, and you can tell Leinart's looking for him more and more each week.

Boldin and Fitzgerald shared the team lead for catches, with 5, for the day...and Johnson hauled in 2 catches from Leinart...let the Peter King crapfest keep on rollin'...

3. I know they're at home, but I don't like much about the Falcons this week. You're not going to know until Saturday if Warrick Dunn's strained calf will allow him to play, and Michael Vick is sore and beat-up, so much so that Jim Mora doesn't want him to run any more than he has to. Plus, Bill Parcells will not be kind to his team in practice this week. It all adds up to frustrating day for the Atlanta offense on Saturday.

actually, the ATL offense outgained Dallas, rushed for over 100 yds, and Vick threw for 4 TDs...Vick ran 8 times for 56 yards, also...Dallas won...but the ATL offense did have a decent day...

4. Steve McNair has thrown two interceptions in the seven weeks Brian Billick has been calling offensive plays for Baltimore. In other words, with Cleveland coming to town, play McNair -- unless you've got Peyton Manning or Drew Brees on your roster.

in theory, this is a reasonable tip...BUT, remember the FECAL TOUCH...you know, everything that Peter touches turns to shit...McNair hurt his hand and ended up going 0-4 with 0 yds...and yes, THIS IS PETER'S fault...

5. If you scout the Buffalo Bills, you know the ball's going deep to Lee Evans once or twice every Sunday, minimum. Yet J.P. Losman's still able to get it to him. Moral of the story: Don't be scared off by defensive player of the year Jason Taylor chasing down Losman on Sunday in Orchard Park, play Evans at any cost this week. And if you can slip in Roscoe Parrish, you know how much I like him.

Roscoe didn't put up any numbers...but, as far as a Peter King tip goes, I guess this was as good as it gets: Evans 3 catches, 67 yards and 1 TD...not a lot of fantasy points, which goes without saying when Peter gives a tip...but at least he didn't come up completely empty...hats off to Peter...he wiped his ass and came out with a dingleberry...nicely done!

6. Antsy about playing Ben Roethlisberger because of all the receiver problems with the Steelers? Don't be. Not this week, anyway. The Panthers host Ben, and Hines Ward is likely to return after two weeks rehabbing a 'scoped knee. Play Ben, and play Santonio Holmes. I'm not sold on Holmes, but he gets the start against some lousy cornerbacks this week.

Big Ben put up 141 yards and 1 passing and 1 rushing TD...this is Peter's once a week winner!...ding ding ding...Holmes did nothing, so that kinda hurts the overall tip...AND, we thank Peter for not mentioning Fast Willie Parker's name...as willie had a great game as a result...

7. I'll tell who's slumping. David Carr. One TD pass in his last seven games. If you play him, Bruce Gradkowski must be your other quarterback. And what are you doing in the playoffs with David Carr as your guy? The only Texan worth a look this week, with the battered Pats' defense, is battering ram Ron Dayne.

I'll tell you who sucks at fantasy tips...Peter King...wtf?...who the hell is playing David Carr at this point in the season...this is Peter's weekly "nose on your face" tip...telling us NOT to play the shitty guy...thanks...any other nonperforming also rans we should avoid, Petey?

8. Hmmm. Cincinnati-Indy. Don't be so sure Rudi Johnson will rush for 240. Tony Dungy and defensive coordinator Ron Meeks will put an eighth body down in the box often Monday night -- even if it's softer sub safety Matt Giordano -- to make sure the Bengals running game doesn't gash the Colts like Jacksonville did last week.

Not gonna bother to wait for this game to post...obviously, Peter gives us NO reason for any confidence in his tip...we can assume, based on the results from what he has "heard" in the past...that Giordano will be cut before the game and never see the field...

9. The Eagles' run defense is killing them lately, and it isn't helping that Brodrick Bunkley is playing so sparingly. The coaches don't like his practice effort. It's a given you'll play Tiki Barber if you have him, but look for the Giants to try to wear down the Philly defensive front with Brandon Jacobs more than usual on Sunday.

and right on cue...Jacobs gets 3 carries for 13 yards...that inside info is gold, Peter...pure gold...

10. With the Saints sure to be blitzing rookie quarterback Jason Campbell, look for lots of throws to H-back Chris Cooley, who already leads the 'Skins with five touchdown catches.

4 catches and 80 yds for Cooley...no TDs...eh...is that lots of throws?...naw...but, shit, this is Peter...and Cooley did lead the team in catches...we'll get into the holiday spirit and give this one to Peter...

For those of you who have been keeping tabs on Peters performance up to this week, the stats breakdown and look like this:

Peter sucks.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Peter King, your fantasy guru and football expert.

UAB: Second Rate Football Program Doomed to Devices of 'Bama?

2006-12-17T17:18:00.000-05:00

Interesting blog entry by Stewart Mandel on cnnsi.com. Apparently, UAB was all set to offer Jimbo Fisher, the highly talked about offensive coordinator at LSU who has had his name come up in many of the coaching hunts this year, their head coaching job. The salary offer was going to be 600K, which is inline with other ConfUSA coaches, AND half the salary was to be funded privately by some local boosters. So, essentially, UAB was gonna get an up and coming NAME coach for 300K a year. Pretty nice deal, right?

Sounded nice, until the Board of Trustees nixed the deal, saying that 600k was fiscally irresponsible. They never mentioned that half was going to be privately funded. But, that isn't the interesting part.

The interesting part: the BOT has over site of all the schools in the Univerisity of Alabama system. So, it is the very same BOT that ok'd buying out Shula's contract with 4M still on it. And the same BOT that OK'd over 2M a year for Rich Rodriguez. Seems kind of weird that they would nix what would amount to a measely 300K a year for a coach that might make UAB competitive. Or does it seem weird?

As Mandel points out, Bear Bryant's son is on the board...along with several other high powered Bama folks. Is it possible that the Bama contingent on the BOT decided to sabotage UAB's rebuilding efforts? That they didn't want a name coach in state competing for recruits and possibly booster dollars in Birmingham?

This is pretty sordid stuff. And it gets interesting again as UAB just announced that they are hiring UGA offensive coordinator Neil Callaway. Details of the salary are not available yet, but it is between 300-400K. Which is what it would have cost the school to bring in Fisher.

So, basically, the 'Bama friendly BOT decided to shit on the hiring of Jimbo Fisher in the name of "fiscal responsibility" (after having given Shula 4M to go away). And to top it off, they approved the hiring of a coach that no one else has seriously been looking at and was even relieved of his play calling duties at UGA this year, for roughly the amount of money it would have cost UAB to go with Fisher.

Hard not to believe that UAB got screwed in this deal.

Somebody Please Keep The Moras Off The Radio

2006-12-16T11:36:00.000-05:00

Someone please get those microphones away. That man is a Mora...nothing good can come of this.

Atlanta Falcons' Coach Jim Mora is taking some heat for a radio appearance, just a few weeks after his father took heat for radio comments about Michael Vick being a coach killer.

Mora the younger is taking heat for an interview on a Seattle radio station in which he was asked about his interest in the coaching job at University of Washington if the job should open up. The interview was conducted by former Mora college roomate and fellow UDub alum, Hugh Millen. Mora said it was his dream job and that he would leave Atlanta in a heartbeat for it.

Obviously, it's horrible judgement to joke about leaving your job in such a public forum. Especially when you are having an up and down season. Giving ownership any reason to lose confidence in you is a bad, bad move.

Mora took a lot of heat on Sunday Countdown on ESPN. TJ brought up that if TO ever made comments like this, he'd be grilled. They also insinuated that there was a serious tone to his voice in the interview, and played the interview.

The portions that they played would actually make one wonder, because Mora did sound serious, and the guys interviewing him sounded more surprised than amused.

Most interesting, is that ESPN for some reason, chose not to play an important line from the interview. At the end of the segment on the UDub job, Mora said, "As I'm sitting here, I'm looking at a Huskies helmet."

Now, that is something that really could loosen up the serious tone of the interview, up to that point. That comment really makes it clear it was a joke. But ESPN hasn't been playing that on TV.

Mora made an ill conceived joke, poorly delivered at a bad time. But ESPN seems to be doing all they can to shovel more shit on Mora.

Joke or not. We think Mora's job was in jeopardy with the way this season and Michael Vick have progressed (or lacked solid progress). This only gives Arthur Blank more doubt.

Ok, Our Money is DEFINATELY on Ohio St.!

2006-12-15T10:03:00.000-05:00

Zook, game planning for the BCS title game.

Would you follow this man's advice???

After reading this, we are taking the Buckeyes for sure in the BCS game.

"Florida defensive coordinator Charlie Strong planned to call a key source in about how to beat Ohio State, so I thought I'd beat him to it. I found Ron Zook on the recruiting trail Wednesday and asked him the same general questions Strong will, minus a few dozen X's and O's: How in the world did you come within seven points of the Buckeyes? How did you hold them to only 17 points? "

Oh my. If Florida is going to turn to Ron Zook for anything that doesn't involve recruiting...well, they deserve what they get. And, Strong realizes: Zook LOST to OSU, right? Now, if Strong wants advice on how to keep the game respectable and claim a moral victory, then step on up!

Typically, Zook was modest: "Ohio State probably played a little down and we played up. That happens in the game of football."

Modest? Umm...what exactly does the guy have to brag about? Anyway, if you strike the "probably" from his statement, we agree 100%.

Look, Florida is a good team. They have film of all the games OSU played. We beg you Florida: Just watch the film. Stay the hell away from Zook and any "insight" he might give you. The Buckeyes were sleep walking that game. The Illini played the game of their lives. So, unless Zook's advice is to ply the Bucks with Ambien and put them to sleep...PLEASE, disregard it.

As fans, we want a great game. Let's just give Zook some credit for getting a lot of those players to UF...and walk away from him. Please, for the sake of the fans!

(We KNOW, "definitely" is spelled wrong in the title....but can't change it now or the link won't work...)

More Zook: Credit for This Year's Team at UF?

2006-12-14T13:16:00.000-05:00

"When Ron Zook was fired at Florida two years ago, he and his supporters pointed out that he had recruited a young team that would blossom into a national championship contender." article

As we said in an earlier post, no one can argue Ron Zook's ability to cajole high school athletes into following him. This is not even a point of contention. However, what about his ability to COACH these athletes and develop the resources necessary in a program to support the improvement of these athletes? Is the performance of Florida's football team this year and their earning a spot in the BCS Title game a vindication of Zook's performance at UF?

Only three of the Gators' probable starters in the national championship game are not Zook recruits.

''Even though we don't get to coach them, I'm proud of them,'' Zook said Wednesday. ''We told them when we recruited them, they were going to have a chance to play for a national championship. It's good to see their goals and dreams come true.''

Does anyone believe that if Zook were still there, those guys would be playing for a national title? Anyone?

Realistically, there was some reasonable talent at FL when Zook got there, not the best of Spurrier's recruiting efforts, but the number of guys that got drafted substantiates that the cupboard was not bear. And Zook brought in solid talent from day one.

What was damning for Zook was this: Improvement. Not only did the team's records not improve over the Zook years, but performance did not either. The same mistakes were made in game situations and the development of the players was woefully lacking and obvious. That reflects on the head coach and on the staff he puts together.

Over the course of his years at UF, there was no evidence that the program was improving. Can you fault the administration for looking at the talent that was there and saying, "We need to get someone in here that can do something with this talent."

The same sort of thing happened at UNC in basketball. Matt Doherty brought in great talent. And the administration realized, he just wasn't the man to mold that talent into a championship.

Do guys like Doherty and Zook deserve some credit for what the team did after they were canned? Sure, their tireless recruiting layed the ground work. They were the bricklayers.

Can we say with any certainty that those teams would have played for championships if they stayed? No way. It takes an architect to plan and design the finished product.

T.O.: Please, Just Take Your Money and Go Away

2006-12-13T23:38:00.000-05:00

Please, STFU, fruitcake!

Remember last year, when Terrell Owens played his little hold out game with the Eagles? He claimed that it was about that horrible contract he had been forced to sign. He said that if he got a contract which made him happy, all would be good and he would be a wonderful asset to the team. Remember the Eagles said the hell with that, and Jerry Jones rolled in and gave TO the type of contract that was supposed to make him happy?

Well, it's clear: the problem isn't the Eagles, the coaches, the contract or the money. The problem is that TO is a bitching, snivelling diva. A man, in gender only. TO is Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston and Rupaul rolled into one. He is a psychotic, selfish, outlandish, nonsensical refugee from reality. He has the mental toughness of a chubby 13 year old girl and Lindsay Lohan laughs at his work ethic.

"While discussing the drops, Owens brought up the snitch again, saying he's lacked focus sometimes because he "was consumed by a lot of things going on here."

Owens can't concentrate because someone has been "snitching" on him. The revolting part of this is that Owens doesn't dispute that the leaks about him are true! He is simply mad, like a little school girl, that someone is talking about him. And because of this, he can't concentrate on Sundays and catch the damn ball. Even tho Jerry Jones GAVE him the contract that he so desparately wanted. You know, the contract that last year made it impossible......impossible to concentrate and play.

It's clear to see: Owens doesn't want to play. If a professional athlete can't clear his mind for 3 hours a week to perform at the level he is being played millions of dollars to perform at...If a professional athlete doesn't have the self discipline and will power to block out distractions for a few hours a week...well, that athlete is a disgrace to himself. With every dropped pass and every whiney excuse, Owens proves the Eagles were 100% right!

The Worst Job at ESPN?

2006-12-13T10:09:00.000-05:00

Creme, espn.com's women's hoops bracketologist: He must have done something horrible in a previous life.

ESPN covers a lot of sports. Virtually any competition that people play and keep score. It got us wondering: What is the worst gig at the WWL? The answer, we think, is Charlie Creme's job.

As if having "Creme" next to your face on every piece you have on espn.com isn't bad enough; Creme is the Women's basketball bracket guru. At first glance, that doesn't seem so horrible. Tennessee, UNC, UConn, LSU, Duke...etc. Elite women's teams actually do have reasonable followings. The part of the job that has to make it excruciatingly painful is following the small conferences. Ivy League, Big West, Mid-Con, MAC, MEAC, Horizon, Big South, Big Sky, Patriot League, American East, MAAC, OVC, CAA and Southland conferences all have women's teams. Who the hell has heard of most of these conferences, let alone the teams that compete in them. Can you imagine the task of being familiar with South East Lousiana's women's basketball squad? University of Hartford? Marist College? Shoot me. Just shoot me NOW.

Having to watch the young ladies that aren't even good enough to ride the bench at major conference schools? Charlie is a certifiable masochist.

We're betting that even Nancy Lieberman said, "Dude, that is a SHITTY job."

Northern Illinois: Just Happy to Be There

2006-12-13T09:17:00.000-05:00

Nope, no chance the Poinsettia Bowl would invite a doormat to their "game".

Northern Illinois and TCU will get it on in less than a week in the opening game of the 2006 bowl season: The Poinsettia Bowl in San Diego. This match-up pits an also ran from the MAC conference against the Mountain West runner-up. Not exactly the type of match up that has football fans across the nation salivating; but hell, it's football and it will have been a few weeks since we had any.

Despite the fact that the rest of the nation collectively said, "who gives a shit", when this pairing was announced; Coach Joe Novak of NIU doesn't care.

"A bowl game to a team like ours is something special," coach Joe Novak said. "There is no bad bowl game. For teams like ours, it's a great opportunity. Our fans are excited. We have a lot of people coming with us."

Now are you pumped? Are you ready for some football? We sure are. And we can't agree more: A bowl game for a 7-5 team from the MAC is something special. Hell, The Poinsettia Bowl is the SECOND best bowl named after a red flower. That is the type of thing that makes those 4 years of hard work the seniors put into the program so worthwhile.

So, a tip of the hat to NIU and their special season. Their dream of a third place finish in the MAC Western Division has been achieved. And the complete over proliferation of meaningless bowls has ensured that they are properly rewarded for such a feat.

Is The Zooker Setting Himself Up For Failure?

2006-12-12T16:32:00.000-05:00

Ron Zook shows off the legs that recruits just can't turn down.

Illinois is in good position to land three of the nation's top football prospects within the next 10 days, a Christmas present that would give coach Ron Zook one of the top 20 recruiting classes in the country. -- Chicago Sun-Times

Ron Zook. Chased out of Gainesville by an angry mob of backwoods Gator fans (trust me, I lived in Gainesville for a year...the University of Florida might be there, but THAT place is NOT Florida...south Alabama, maybe...) wielding torches and pitchforks. Somehow, he quickly found refuge in the Midwest at a program with pretty low expectations. A perfect fit! He is JUST the man for the job.

Despite Zook's shortcomings in clock management, offensive game planning, offensive play calling, organizational control, hiring of high quality assistants, teaching fundamental football skills, winning over the good will of alumni and booster and etc...etc...etc...One thing, and maybe the only thing, Zook does as well as any top coach (caveat: the term "top coach" is used as a point of reference and should in no way be construed as characterising Ron Zook) is recruiting. Somehow Zooker is able to bamboozle young minds and their parents into signing on the dotted line and entering a pact for a minimum of 3 and maximum of 5 years of frustration, shattered hopes and broken dreams.

Despite the mediocre (by UF standard) results, he always had gangbuster recruiting classes. Clearly, this was a huge mistake. And, Zook doesn't seem to be learning from it at Illinois.

By bringing in high profile recruits and having highly ranked classes, Zook essentially tied the knot in the hangman's noose. Zook is a mediocre coach. He surrounded himself with mediocre assistants. By bringing in top ranked classes, he raised expectations to levels that he couldn't reach.

Now, given the reins at Illinois, a guy like Zook is in the perfect job. Losing tradition. Low expectations. Mediocrity would be a step up and he would be a hero of sorts. But, instead of allowing his borderline coaching skills to be the focus of the program; that dadgum ability to recruit rears its ugly head. His plan should be simple:

-surround himself with a solid cast of assistants
-recruit tough players that are under the national radar
-hold press conferences and give pep talks while you let those solid assistants teach the kids how to play
-go 5-7 or 6-6 and be able to claim that the team is performing above expectations
-retain job

But, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Zook goes out and brings in some top players. The media of course touts this as big news. And now, you are going to have alums and fans of Illinois expecting big things. A few top 20 recruiting classes in a row should equate to some 20 rankings, right? And those are expectations that Coach Ron Zook will just not be able to meet.

Ron, if you are going to be a marginal X's and O's coach and INSIST on bringing in great recruiting classes: Follow the example Mack Brown has set. Mack began it at UNC and perfected it at Texas. Be the chairman of the board: Raise money and make the recruiting trips to talk ma and pa into letting junior play for you. Leave the football operations and coaching to guys that know how.

We predict this class is the beginning of the end of the Ron Zook era at Illinois.

King Me: Week 14

2006-12-12T00:17:00.000-05:00

On to Week 14 in the world of Peter King...Peter's "wisdom" in black...reality in red:

Most of you still playing this fantasy game are into your playoffs by now, so I don't know how much you can benefit from anything I might hear during the week.

I'm sure it can't be of any less benefit than tips from what you "heard" every week so far...cause after all...what is less beneficial than worthless?

1. Chicago offensive coordinator Ron Turner is a smart man. He knows how to find short- and intermediate-route holes for his offense. But I think the psyche of Rex Grossman is too far gone right now. If you have any option at quarterback better than, say, Bruce Gradkowski, I'd use it now.

Ron Turner may be a smart man...but Peter King is not...Grossman tossed for 200 yds 2 TDs and 0 INTs...Grossman had a better fantasy week than several QBs...Vick, Brady, Kitna, Romo, Carr, McNair, Harrington, Pennington, Garcia, Leinart, Losman, Garrard, Green...and a few others...off to a rousing Peter King start...you'd think Peter's psyche would be gone, too...and he'd stop passing out the tripe in his columns and pretending it was inside info...

2. Big night for Steven Jackson Monday. With Bears defensive tackle Tommie Harris missing at least this week, look for the Rams to be able to run and control the ball for at least 30 minutes.

Good nite for Jackson..81 yds rushing and a TD and 58 yds receiving and a TD...and the Rams did hold the ball for more than 30 mins...BUT, they were out rushed 172-101 and outscored...and only rushed 22 times...maybe the reason the Rams controlled the clock was actually due to the Bears scoring so damned quick...two 90+ yard KO returns..and 4 scoring drives all less than 5 minutes...so yeah...Peter was right...but for the WRONG reasons...but hell, at least he was right for a change...

3. I don't like the Browns to win, and I don't like Derek Anderson to have a fairy tale first start in the NFL. I don't think the Browns can block the Steelers, even the beat-up Steelers.

Anderson tossed a TD and had 276 yards...not a story book start, but not a bad first start, stat wise....BTW...does Peter think that a bunch of fantasy owners out there PICKED Anderson up this week or something?...what a bullturd tip...another of his "you have a nose on your face" deals...thanks for the advice, Peter...is the sky blue, too?...jerkoff...

4. Chester Taylor looks like he'll be nursing a bum knee the rest of the year. Normally I'd say play him against Detroit, but I wouldn't be too excited about playing him, even with Shaun Rogers being out for the year with the Lions. If you've got rushing alternatives, I'd use them.

I give Peter MAD props for this one...telling us not to play a guy that is listed as doubtful is a HUGE improvement for Peter...remember the week before last....when fatass told us to play not one, but TWO guys that were on the inactive list that week...so...while most of us would naturally take it as a given to leave a guy listed as doubtful off the roster...when PETER realizes it is a good thing to do...well, when Peter realizes it, we have to give him props...it's like when your retarded little brother manages to eat a meal without stabbing himself in the eye with his fork...Way to go, PeteyPete!....

5. I don't like Laurence Maroney's chance to bust out this week, for two reasons: New England ALWAYS struggles offensively against the Dolphins, and Maroney strained his back against the Lions last week. Be careful in assuming he'll do much in Miami.

And we didn't like Maroney's chances to bust out this week for ONE reason: HE WAS INACTIVE...but, again...Peter is improving...two weeks ago he told us to PLAY the inactive guys...it's week 14...and PeterPeterthePieEater seems to finally be figuring out how this works...

6. If I had one quarterback to play this week, it'd be Matt Leinart against Seattle ... not Peyton Manning against Jax, or Drew Brees against the 'Boys.

Leinart: 232 yds 2 TD 1 INT...And, the Cards got a nice win...BUT...let's have a gander at the guys ole Peter didn't play...Peyton Manning 313 yds 0 TD 1INT, 1 rushing TD...yeah, the Colts were beat down by J-ville...however, Manning outperformed Leinart fantasy wise...and Brees, well...5 TDs and 384 yards...hehehe...sorry...can't help giggling...even when Peter gives a tip and the guy has a decent day and his team wins...fantasy wise...Peter loses yet again...

7. Sit Terrell Owens this week. For spite.

and Peter "spites" himself out of a TD reception...which, normally isn't a big deal...but if you followed most of Peter's other "tips"...that TD might have been your only chance at points this week....

8. If you follow the Jets, you see how Eric Mangini is one of the biggest what-have-you-done-for-me-lately coaches on earth. Therefore, play Cedric Houston in your backfield because he has done an awful lot for Mangini lately.

Cedric responds to Peter's confident endorsement with 50 yds and no TDs...the infamous Peter King Fecal Touch...

9. Play Marion Barber. Bench Julius Jones.

And Jones let's us know what kind of tip (hint: it rhymes with shit) this was on his first carry of the game with a 77 yd TD jaunt...and totalled 116 yards on just 10 carries...and the guy he wanted us to play : Barber?...umm....-1 yard....thanks Peter!...how bout a reach around next time, pal!

10. Is there any warm-blooded receiver Green Bay hasn't tried out this year? Now it's 2004 Notre Dame QB Carlyle Holiday. The 49ers will blitz Brett Favre from the time he gets off the bus Sunday. I don't like Green Bay's offense to do much in this one.

We admit...we take GREAT pleasure in this one...because it is a double dose of Peter shitting the bed...first...the Pack rolled up 30 points and 420 yards of total offense...Favre threw for 293 yds 2 TDs and 0 INTs...Driver racked up 160 yds and a TD reception...AND...a few weeks ago PeterthePieEater told us to take the 'Niners D for the playoff run...since that tip...the Niners D has been HORRID...sorry, we giggle like little girls when Peter gives us tips like this one...tips like this are the personification of what a Peter King column is usually all about...crap, crap and more crap...

Ladies and Gentlemen: Peter King, your football expert and fantasy guru.

Hey..

2006-12-11T10:43:00.000-05:00

We got a few emails asking where our usual Peter King Fantasy Picks update was....well, Peter gave a few tips that involved the Monday Night game...so we will be posting on it tomorrow AM...

Do Their Weather Forecasts Suck, Too?

2006-12-09T12:57:00.000-05:00

Kinda sucked being the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette yesterday. In an effort to be at the front of the line with coaching news, they reported that WVU coach Rich Rodriguez was 'Bama bound. Done deal.

"After attending a news conference in Jacksonville, Fla., promoting the 13th-ranked Mountaineers' appearance in the Jan. 1 Gator Bowl, Rodriguez flew home to Morgantown to tell his wife, Rita, and family of their impending Alabama adventure. Now it's unlikely Rodriguez will coach in that bowl.

All along, he reiterated that he planned to finish his coaching career at West Virginia "if they'll have me." Apparently, he didn't believe they would have him at the price of the facilities and BCS-maintaining pace that he desired."

The photo of Rodriguez accompanying the article was entitled "West Virginia coach Rich Rodriguez finally threw his hands up and decided to take the Alabama coaching job."

Heck, they even ran another column weighing coaching options for WVU: "Top candidates mentioned to replace Rich Rodriguez"....ummm...they never did say who "mentioned" the candidates.

And then...well, and then Rodriguez actually made his decision. And this morning the Post-Gazette had an article entitled "Rodriguez will remain coach at WVU"...DOH!

For some reason, they didn't mention friday's articles. Can't imagine why!

For those of you wondering about the weather forecasts. Do yourself a favor and don't check the forecast in the P-G!

Bowl Rundown: Installment I

2006-12-08T01:05:00.000-05:00

The crap fest that is the first week of Bowl season is just around the corner...and we thought we'd help by letting you know who was doing what and where...here are the games that will be played during the first week...also known as the beginning of college basketball conference play...

San Diego Country Credit Union Poinsettia (Dec 19)

The bowl season kicks off with this choice match up in beautiful Sand Diego. The official flower of Christmas, the poinsettia, has its very own bowl game...and the featured teams are: Mountain West runner-up TCU (10-2), a team that would be undefeated if it wasn't for that damned Mormon state of Utah...a stomping at the hands of BYU and a beating administered by Utah..and their opponent: Northern Illinois (7-5) the third place finisher in the MAC-West Division...that is correct we have so many bowls this year that the THIRD place team in a DIVISION of the Mid-American Conference gets to go...N. Illinois features that midget running back everyone was so excited about and pumping in the Heisman race back in September...Garrett Wolfe...we can't name any of the other players in this game...and doubt (unless you are a Horned Frog or a..umm..a...whatever N. Illinois team is called...fan)...

Prediction: TCU gets the win and the potted poinsettia.

Pioneer PurVision Las Vegas (Dec 21)

Sin City! What better spot to send the Cougars of BYU and their fans? Those wild and crazy Mormons are gonna have the time of their lives. And I bet there will be standing room only with all the polygamists at the wedding chapels...BYU (10-2) somehow was able to go undefeated in the Mountain West...a nine team conference in which only 3 teams managed winning records...the Cougs are matched against Oregon (7-5), a team that started the season as contenders for the pack 10 title...but finished with a losing conference record...

Prediction: BYU rolls...all that pent up frustration at not being allowed to partake in any of the Vegas fun boils over on the field...

R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl (Dec 22)

Is this a cruel joke? The citizens of New Orleans deserve FAR better than this...The Sun Belt Conference runner ups, Troy (7-5) take on the second place team from the Conference USA West, Rice (7-5)...how much longer will the Sun Belt be allowed to masquerade as a conference...two teams finished the year with winning records...TWO...

Prediction: R&L Carriers doesn't sponsor a bowl next year.

Papajohns.com Bowl (Dec 23)

South Florida (8-4) comes in fresh off their upset of West Virginia...the opponent is East Carolina (7-5)...among the teams that beat ECU this year: Navy, UAB, Tulsa, and Rice...impressive...

Prediction: The Bulls (that's S. Florida) stampede the Pirates (that's ECU).

New Mexico (Dec 23)

New Mexico (6-6) vs. San Jose St (8-4)...give the bowl promoters here credit...sure a 6-6 team from the Mountain West deserves to be in a bowl about as much as Lindsay Lohan deserves an Oscar...BUT, having the home state team in the game might sell some tickets...oh, who are we kidding...there are gonna be even less people in the stands than at the Blue-Gray Game...

Prediction: Spurred on by pride, New Mexico pulls it out and proves once and for all: They DO belong in the New Mexico bowl.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces (Dec 23)

Tulsa (8-4) had a decent record overall, but actually finished third in the Conference USA-West...behind Rice...Utah, rolling in at 7-5, finished third in the Mountain West...so this is a battle of second rate conference 3rd place teams in a bowl sponsored by the armed forces...yup, be all that you can be!

Prediction: A bitter coach Steve Kragthorpe, who was passed over for numerous better job openings the past few weeks, whips his team into a frenzy and Tulsa gets the nod.

Sheraton Hawaii (Dec 24)

Another bowl that invites the home team...Hawaii (10-3)...how come they get to play 13 regular season games, anyway?...versus Arizona St. (7-5)...ASU had a dissappointing season...the kid that Dirk Koetter let his team talk him into starting at QB shit the bed and cost him his job...but on a bright note...the Sun Devils get to spend a week in Hawaii...before the Warriors drop 60 on them...

Prediction: Sunshine, warm breezes...and a lot of TD passes by Colt Brennan...

Come On, Fellas...I kid...I kid!

2006-12-07T08:46:00.000-05:00

If you are the star running back on a football team that has won several Florida state championships in a row and has been ranked in the USA Today Top 5 for the last few years, it's probably not a good idea to unveil certain things during a televised interview after a big win. Those "things" being that you have been the recipient of many, many gifts.

''I didn't even count it,'' player Chris Rainey said in a taped interview regarding a wad of cash a woman gave him. "When I walk around, people are buying me food, giving me money. I'm like, 'Damn, I'm glad I'm Chris Rainey. It's real nice to be me.' ''

"My cousin came and was like, "This man want to meet you. He wants you to sign this ball. And he'll give you free clothes,' " Rainey said on the tape. "And I was like, 'What?' So I signed a ball and he gave all kinds of free watches, necklace, shoes, clothes."

Of course, this is triggering an investigation to determine if gifts actually were accepted. If so, the Lakeland team could be forced to forfeit their 15-0 season.

Like any up and coming High School star these days, Rainey has a lawyer. And apparently, his lawyer is invoking the "He was just joking" defense.

"Anyone listening to or reading his comments should be able to hear or see the hyperbole in those comments," said attorney Robert Puterbaugh. "Chris unequivocally denies having accepted any remuneration, gift or donation for participating in any sports activity."

No doubt, barrister! It's clear as the ambulances you chase: Rainey is a prankster. And a funny one. I mean what is funnier than being all jazzed after your state semifinal win, amassing 340 some odd yards, and then telling the world about all the benefits you have received. Wonder why the reporter didn't fall out laughing on the spot?

A lesson for all you big time players on big time High School teams: Keep ya moufs shut!....oh and keep a lawyer on retainer, too...just in case people don't get your wacky sense of humor.

Hollis Thomas: Claims clenbuterol is reason for positive test

2006-12-06T11:26:00.002-05:00

Hollis Thomas claims that a compound in his inhaler is responsible for his positive test. Clenbuterol is used for obstructions of the airway and chronic breathing disorders, like asthma.

It is listed as a banned substance by the league. Most probably because it has been used by athletes for a long time as a performance enhancer due to its ability to enhance air flow, its anit-catabolic effect (ability to decrease the rate of protein reduction at a cellular level) and its fat burning effect.

Clenbuterol's performance enhancement effects are most applicable to bodybuilding (and it's ability to enhance breathing is beneficial to mid-distance runners and cyclists), not so much to football. So, if clenbuterol is truly what Thomas popped for, chances are that his story is true, and Thomas really could be a victim of the rule. Of course, the other way of looking at it is: He should have checked what was in the inhaler and whether it was banned and asked his doctor to prescribe him something else. Other medications can, and are, frequently prescribed in place of clenbuterol because a lot of folks have bad reactions to it. Ephedrine is another bronchodialator that is on many banned lists that is common in medications.

We have seen some misinformation about what clenbuterol actually is. It is NOT a steroid compound (anabolic or cortical). Clenbuterol Hydrochloride is a beta-2-symphatomimetic. It is not a hormone. The reasoning behind its banning has nothing to do with whether or not it is a hormone. It has to do with the fact that in cycling, clenbuterol in liquid form is combined with a painkiller and the drug EPO to increase the production of red blood cells. Remember, the NFL's list of banned drugs is based on those in other sports and the Olympics, so compounds included on the list are NOT limited to just hormones.

Chris Simm's Little Brother Leads Team to State Title

2006-12-06T09:10:00.000-05:00

During our usual morning perusal of thebiglead.com, we came across an item that had plenty of personal interest. There was a link to a video with some highlights of the Don Bosco Prep (this poster is an alum) victory over St. Peter's Prep in a NJ state championship game. It was really a pretty big game nationally in high school ball, as both teams were in the Top 15 in almost all the major high school polls.

Anyway, the video shows the end of the game when Matt Simms, Bosco's Louisville bound QB, sauntered over to heckle the fans of the opposing team after the game. And of course, the ensuing posturing by both teams.

There is a little more to the story than Simms simply acting like a jerk and the Bosco squad acting like the "U". Although, clearly, Simms made a bad move, and the coaches from both squads acted poorly; refusing to shake hands. There is even a report that the St. Peter's coach threw a football at the Bosco cheerleaders (wonder if Mr. DeLillo is still the cheer and dance team coach).

Apparently, a few days before the game, the Bosco players walked out to their practice field and there was a flag planted in it with "SPP" painted on it (St. Peter's Prep). Which, obviously, the Bosco squad took as pretty disrespectful. Prior to the state final matchup, the two teams shared a small indoor warmup area. The Ironmen (Bosco) marched the flag in with them. This lead to some pregame posturing and obviously added fuel to the fire.

During the week prior to the game, one of Bosco's players discovered a message painted on his car, "Will Hill (St. Peter's quarterback) is your daddy. State champs last year and again this year."

Now, Simms certainly should not have gone and taunted the fans ON the St. Peter's sideline; however, he is a kid who has endured a lot. Losses in the previous two state championship games and constant heckling from fans. The crowd chanted at him all game long: "Not your brother" and"Daddy's better". Earlier this season, one crowd chanted, "Where's your spleen?", a reference to older brother Chris' surgery earlier in the year.

The teams refused to shake hands and New Jersey State Police had to break up a shoving and shouting match at midfield.

After the game, Simms was given a box that had been delivered to the school Wednesday from a UPS Store in Bayonne. The box contained a pair of cleats with "SPP" and "Hunt for two" scribbled across them, along with a letter from "your friends at the Marauder Nation." The note also said, "Good luck Friday, hope the shoes fit," referring to the ones Simms wore all season, with scores from the past two State finals written on them.

In spite of all the pre-game nonsense, Bosco dominated the game and won 41-0. Completing a season in which the Ironmen not only dominated the state of NJ (the polls had Bosco and St. Peters 1 and 2), but took 3 powerful out of state teams down as well.

Saints Player Pops Positive for Juice

2006-12-05T16:04:00.000-05:00

We ask you, does the man on the right look like a steroid user?

D-Lineman Hollis Thomas of the N.O. Saints is going to be suspended for 4 games for violating the league's policy on anabolic steroids.

Any odds as to which excuse he will be implementing?

-tainted supplements
-Carl Lewis spiked his beer
-masseuse with a vendetta
-a lot of jack daniels the day before
-thought it was B-12 shot that Miguel Tejada was injecting into his ass
-didn't ask trainer what was in the "cream" he was rubbing on his sore knees

I'm going with the tainted supplements. Shawn Merriman used that one and came back with a monster first game after suspension. See you in the playoffs, Hollis!

Predictions that Don't Predict Anything

2006-12-05T14:49:00.000-05:00

I can't stand columnists that sorta, kinda, maybe make "almost" predictions, but do it in a way that covers their asses. A way that they can say, regardless of the outcome, "Hey, I was right." That is gutless and pathetic. Why write the column if you don't have cajones to tell us what the hell you think? It's like a weatherman saying "It might rain today." If it rains, he says, "I told you it might." If it doesn't, then it's, "I didn't say it WOULD rain." If you are gonna take the time and energy to open your suck and spit out those ambiguous "insights", do me a favor...put your energy to better use and just blow me.

With that sentiment in mind, we look at a column fashioned last week by Chris Fowler (it's in espn insider). Fowler titles it "History tells us not to write off UCLA just yet". Ok, fine. He then goes on to give examples of lower rated teams ruining contenders chances at the end of the year. Setting the stage for what would seem to be a prediction that UCLA is going to upset the Trojans.

He breaks down the strengths of the teams, and explains what MUST happen for UCLA to pull off the upset. He warns us not to count them out:

"But you never know in a rivalry game that's supposed to be one-sided. No foregone conclusions. You have to remind yourself sometimes, because we are in the assumption business: look at the track record, presume you know what is going to happen, then start focusing on the step beyond that. "

So, Chris, is UCLA going to win?

"It's likely USC will make it eight straight over the boys in blue, matching the Bruins' series win streak that bridged the Larry Smith, John Robinson (Part 2) and Paul Hackett eras."

It's "likely USC" will win? No forgone conclussions? The only thing forgone is frustration. Chris covers his ass with ambiguous terms like "likely" and by telling us that just because the rivalry has been one sided lately there is no reason to assume anything.

So, basically, he is telling us that ANYTHING can happen. NO SHIT! Thanks for the insight there. So, did everyone get that? Did everyone digest the wonderful insight into this game from ESPN's college football host? Don't count your chickens before they hatch. USC will maybe win, but we don't know for sure. THANKS, CHRIS!

You blew it, Chris. Clearly, you WANTED to predict UCLA to win. You did. It's obvious. But you didn't have the balls to do it! Chris even made this comment:

"I have thrown that at Corso and Herbstreit for years, trying to gauge their interest in going out on a limb. You see, they pick a big upset about as often as Jim Tressel hits a dance club. "

Well, Chris, you had the chance to do what they wouldn't. AND you had the chance to be right. But you didn't have the sack.

Next time, save it. If I want a namby pamby almost prediction with a caveat hidden in the fine print, concealed in ambitguity, that strategically covers your ass...I'll watch the local weather. At least the bitch on there knows how to give a proper blow job.

Spurrier: Where is he REALLY headed?

2006-12-05T13:35:00.000-05:00

Steve Spurrier’s name has come up as Alabama and Miami sift through the coaching heap to find new heads for their programs. However, there is another opening out there that has very close ties to Spurrier that is also in the mix:

The rumors continue to circulate this week in Johnson City, Tenn. (SCIENCE HILL HIGH School), that the school’s favorite son, Steve Spurrier, will be its next football coach.

Spurrier just signed a contract extension with South Carolina.

"Keith Turner, Science Hill’s athletics director, said Spurrier fans should not read too much into the coach’s decision to continue recruiting for USC and to lead the Gamecocks in the Liberty Bowl late this month. Turner said he could wait for a decision about his new football coach well into the summer."

When Spurrier’s contract was extended on Saturday he said he was happy at S. Carolina and he wasn’t interested in any of the open college jobs. He never did mention not being interested in the Johnson City opening, which apparently is further fueling the fire.

Apparently the AD at S. Carolina is aware of the situation:

“Miami and Alabama are one thing; Science Hill is quite another,” said Eric Hyman, USC’s athletics director. “I hope this does not mean we have to renegotiate Steve’s contract again.”

And the final piece to the puzzle, according to Turner is this:

“He added that it might not be a coincidence Spurrier has plans to play golf in Johnson City this summer.”

Owner's Activist Wife Responsible for Orange Roundie?

2006-12-04T15:26:00.000-05:00

Interesting bullet over at foxsports rumors section.

According to talk show host Joe McDonnell of AM 570 KLAC in Los Angeles, Houston Rockets owner Leslie Alexander's wife (who is an animal rights activist) was able to get her good friend, Mrs. David Stern, to convince the commissioner to drop the leather ball in favor of the synthetic.

That's all well and good, but it still doesn't explain who was responsible for allowing Scoop Jackson to pretend he was the new ball in his recent column. Although, we must admit: If Scoop were a ball, he'd gain some IQ points.

He's STAYIN'!

2006-12-04T14:56:00.001-05:00

Schiano to the "U": Eh, oh! Fuggedaboutit. I'm fuggin' stayin' in Jehrsey!

In what must be a sign of the apocolypse, Greg Schiano has shunned Miami to stay at Rutgers. Did you EVER think you would hear of such a thing? Bullshit! You NEVER did.

What stargate have we passed through that a coach is unwilling to leave his job at the State U of NJ for the chance to be the head coach of one of the most successful programs of the past quarter century?

Sure, Schiano is a Jersey guy. I'm sure he is a big fan of diners, big haired Cujinette's and "goin' down the shore". He said all along that leading the Scarlet Knights was his dream job. We certainly didn't believe him. Hell, we played high school football in New Jersey when Lehigh and Colgate were out recruiting Rutgers in the Garden State.

A tip of the hat to Schiano for seeing through what he has started. Oh, and the 20 million dollar 10 year extension that Rutgers is supposedly working up for him certainly makes the chemical filled air in NJ more breatheable, we're sure.

--- Anyone wanna lay odds on Schiano staying at Rutgers when JoePa retires at Penn St.? I'm betting Schiano take over in Happy Valley.

Jim Tressel: Nice Cop Out

2006-12-04T11:29:00.000-05:00

"We felt as if it was somewhat of a conflict of interest as we're going to be participating in the game and the amount of respect we have both programs, we just decided that that was the best thing for Ohio State," Jim Tressel said during a teleconference Sunday night.

But you did vote ALL year, right, Jim? You voted the week before you played Michigan during the season, right, Jim? You have voted YOUR team number 1 most of the season, right, Jim? Certainly THAT could be perceived as a conflict of interest. But it isn't. It isn't, because Jim voted Ohio State number 1 because he felt they were the best team in the land. He didn't vote them number 1 simply because they were his team. Right?

Saying that his voting this week is a conflict of interest is a de facto admission that his voting is not based on his impression of who is the best, second best, third best (and so on) team in the country. By copping out, Tressel is admitting that he would be tempted to vote for the team which is the better match up for his Buckeyes. Not necessarily for the team that he feels is number two.

Michigan coach Lloyd Carr was asked during a Rose Bowl teleconference late Sunday what he thought of Tressel's decision to not vote. "Well, I thought it was real slick," Carr said, flatly.

The BCS selection process is already inherently flawed. We all know this. Coaches not properly participating in the system only add to the profound ambiguity of the process and further clutter the already muddled picture. If the coaches of the top teams don't have the desire to rely on their personal integrity to at least do their part, then what is a flawed system becomes wholely untenable.

The BCS problem isn't just systematic. It is completely doomed if the participants don't hold up their end as well.

It's All Over But the Crying

2006-12-03T20:42:00.001-05:00

Urban Meyer's whining and breath holding was either effective, or premature. Either way, Florida is getting its crack at Ohio St. And the national title.

Meyer began his lobbying almost as soon as Michigan lost to OSU. While there was merit to his argument (and, apparently the voters thought so, too), it was still whiney and early. He started his tantrum while several teams in the mix still had big games on their schedules and things were not even close to played out.

Regardless, the human factor is what gave Florida the bid. The computers had Michigan and UF even. So, clearly, the voters didn't want to see a Michigan-OSU rematch.

We think this is a good thing and that when all is said and done, in spite of the diva like hissy fit pitched by Urban Meyer, that Florida deserves the bid. It seems the main reason folks were calling for Michigan to get the bid was that they LOST by a close score (if you watched the game it was not as close as the score). As convoluted as the BCS is, such reasoning is against the very grain of SPORT, not just football.

Sure, Michigan lost to the number one team by three points. But Florida didn't lose to a chump either. They lost on the road to a team that is currently in the Top Ten. Both teams lost to worthy adversaries in close games. So what. Close only counts in horseshoes and handgrenades. The differentiating factor is who they BEAT. Florida wins this argument HANDS DOWN.

Michigan is a very good team. And they are deserving of a pat on the back for the tough fight they gave Ohio State. And as the second place team in the Big Ten, they deserve to represent the conference in the Rose Bowl, in lieu of OSU. What they don't deserve is a shot at the national title. The highlight of their resume is a LOSS. Sure, it was a "better" loss than Florida's. But they don't have wins that match Florida's.

It's been said that the purpose of the BCS is to try to ensure that the two best teams get in the title game. We have an 11-1 team and a 12-1 team. We have 11 Michigan wins to look at. We have 12 Florida wins to look at. Look at those games. Honestly. If you do so, there is no way you can rationalize all those quality wins of Florida being negated by Michigan's close LOSS to OSU.

Lloyd Carr: Your turn to hold your breath and stomp your feet.

King Me: This Week in Peter King

2006-12-03T17:47:00.000-05:00

1. Pick up Roscoe Parrish if you can. Jauron tells me he's had a hammy that has limited him in the regular offense, but he's going to get more and more snaps down the stretch. He'd gone four games without catching a pass in a game until his key sideline catch on the final drive that led to the game-winning field goal against the Jags. Look for him to break a return in the last month, and to play 20 snaps a game as a slot receiver who gets downfield.

That's super, Peter! Pick up this guy in the hopes he has a return TD over the next month?...one touchdown a month equals HUGE fantasy points, huh?...they may as well crown me fantasy champion now, huh?...And look for him to play 20 plays a game...again: SUPER...unfortunately, the last time I checked, you don't get fantasy points for the number of plays a player is in the game for or how many times he runs downfield; WITHOUT the ball...but you do get fantasy points for their stats...and Roscoe had 3 catches for 33 yards and one punt return for 6 yards...off to a rousing Peter King start: not only shitty reasoning for picking a guy up...but also shitty stats...that sounds like Peter's patented recipe for a shit sandwhich...served up fresh weekly in his fantasy picks column...

2. Just a hunch: Got a tough playoff matchup down the stretch? Your running back playing the Ravens or Chargers' or Bears' or Vikes' (rushing) D? Four names: Kevin Faulk, Justin Fargas, Najeh Davenport, Maurice Hicks. The latter's an interesting guy, because you wonder if Frank Gore can keep up his strong play on a 306-carry pace.

I'm sensing a new method for Peter...instead of giving predictions for the week...he is now breaking out his shotgun and capping off shells hoping to pick a duck out of the flock...anyway...Kevin Faulk: No rushes...he did have 8 rec's for 59 yards...Justin Fargas: 14 carries for 49 yards and a TD...Najeh Davenport: 6 rushes for 8 yards...Maurice Hicks: 1 carry for 5 yards...so, anyway, for this week...these tips provided some wonderful nuggets for Peter's sandwich...

3. Re: the Ravens running game, pick up Musa Smith if you can. He's had 12 rushes over the past two games, and you can never tell if the workload for Jamal Lewis (22 carries a game in the 5-0 Ravens' streak since Brian Billick took over the playcalling, and nursing a bruised foot) will get him nicked much more down the stretch. And if he has to miss time, Billick loves Musa Smith. He'll run him a load.

Yea, well...this week the only load is Peter's advice...no rushes for Musa...and again...a pick that we can't fully ridicule until the season is over...WTF, Peter?...this BS with the long term advice and what if so and so gets hurt needs to end...we prefer the instant gratification of illustrating what a moron you are...making us wait four weeks to point it out is just cruel...

4. Just to clarify something for you guys in keeper leagues: Mike Vick is not going to be traded after the season. Repeat: NOT going to be traded. Feel free to quote me to scuttle any rumors you might hear about that. And plan accordingly.

And the shit sandwich just became a double decker...now he is giving advice for next year...I'm not an insider like Peter is...but how can you scuttle rumors that don't have legs yet?

5. As long as you're taking my word on something, the other thing you can take to the bank this week is that Braylon Edwards is going to have a bunch of chances against Kansas City. A whole bunch. What he does with those chances I don't know. But Charlie "Thanks For Getting the Dust Off My Jersey'' Frye will throw to him a lot.

6...that is how many passes Edwards had thrown at him...6...he caught 3 for 36 yards and a TD...much like the sandwich Peter has put together...his word that Edwards would have a "bunch" of chances, was, SHIT...6 is not a bunch of chances...

6. Frank Gore's shin, by the way? Fine. He'll start at New Orleans.

umm...ok...but he also had 5 carries for 28 yards...Peter just added double the meat to the shit sandwich...again, to my knowledge, you DON'T get points for starting...

7. Kelly Washington's hammy? Not so fine on a short week. I'd sit the fourth Bengals receiver (which you probably would have anyway against the Ravens' D).

nicely done, Peter...pick the Bengals' injured 4th receiver and sit him against one of the top defenses...another of Peter's patented "you have a nose on your face" tips...this is the pickle on the shit sandwich...

8. The Bengal I'd be sure to play is Reggie Kelly, the tight end. With the Baltimore pass-rush looking like it's rushing 11 on every passing down, Carson Palmer's going to need his intermediate option all night.

umm...yea....0 catches for 0 yards...that sandwich gets tastier with every bite...thanks, Peter...

9. Be very, very thankful you picked up Sammy Morris, if you did. Without Ronnie Brown, out with a broken bone in his hand, Nick Saban will use his power runner to chew up the clock against Jacksonville.

...but NO thanks to you...after checking past weeks, Peter never advised anyone to pick up Sammy...although he phrases this tip as if he did...anyway, Morris had a pedestrian 12 carries for 47 yards and no TDs...basically, Peter tries to make us think he advised us to pick up Morris in foresight of Brown's injury...but Morris had a non-productive fantasy day anway...mmm, yummy.

10. Tough game for San Diego in Buffalo. Very tough. Not that I'd sit LaDainian Tomlinson, but I might sit Philip Rivers, with a forecast of possible snow showers, a good breeze and a high of 34. The Bills are praying for snow to welcome Tomlinson back to western New York for his first visit since Dec. 15, 2002, his second season. He ran for 110 that day, but the Bills won 20-13. Sports quiz: Which two quarterbacks piloted the Chargers that day? If you guessed Drew Brees, relieved by Doug Flutie, you win a lifetime subscription to this column.

Not sure exactly what the tip here was...if the tip was to sit Rivers...he went for 160 yards passing and a TD...not a great fantasy day, BUT, more points than almost all of the players Peter ADVISED that you play...if the insinuation was that LT might not have a big day...he went for 178 rushing and 2 TDs...again, I don't know what the hell the advice here was...

Well, another great week of advice. Peter fed us a shit sandwich piled high and packed thick. Thanks, Peter....that was delicious!

Ladies and Gentlemen: Peter King, your football expert and fantasy guru.

BTW: Last week Peter suggested that you pick up the 'Niner's defense for your playoff run. We predicted that Peter's fecal touch would take contol...and since he recommended picking them up, they have had two of their most unproductive fantasy weeks of the year...guess that is the turd brownie to follow this week's shit sandwich...thanks, Peter, but that's enough...we are full.

The N-Word in the Locker Room

2006-12-01T16:25:00.000-05:00

Over on ESPN's Page 2, one of today's submissions dealt with the N-word in the locker room and the frequency with which athletes and rappers use the word. And of course Kramer's tirade was brought up. Essentially, the question was whether it is reasonable to expect people not to use the word when it is so easily brought into conversation by rappers in public and black athletes when the mic isn't in their faces. The author explained that the reason that blacks so freely use the word is because it was meant as a means to steel it from whites. Make it a harmless vernacular, and it loses its degradational ability. In the end, the author reasonably concludes that the only way for the word to go away is for rappers and athletes to stop using it.

The logic is mind boggling. If the goal is to steel the word from whites and diminish its power. Wouldn't the effect be that people would use the word without a second thought? In the greater scheme of things, it doesn't really matter. It falls under that double standard that we are told can't possibly exist...you know, the one that makes it OK for Michael Irvin to say whatever it is he says.

"They say black comedians use the word 'cracker' all of the time and nothing happens to them," says Carnie, who is white. "I think the attitude is a reflection of a much larger experience they don't understand, and that word is so powerful that there is no white derogatory word that is equivalent. They still don't understand the whole impact of slavery, and not being able to be educated, or vote, or the separation of families. They think the civil rights movement happened a hundred years ago, and I'm like no, it was less than 50 years ago."

And maybe that is part of the problem. All those things happened years ago and the rappers and athletes can't relate either. They don't remember those things. You really think rapper The Game feels the pain of slavery on a day to day basis? Or the use of the n-word conjures up visions of marches and stuggle for him? Please. If it did, he wouldn't use the word. Some blacks have adopted the word in their day to day vocab and use it interchangeably with "dude", "man" or whatever it is you choose to interject. In a world in which athletes and rappers make most of their bucks through marketing and through endorsements, and their images are shoved down our throats: Is it unreasonable to think that the slang they use will be adopted as well? "Buy our CD's, wear our clothes, buy the products we endorse, BE LIKE US". And anyone is surprised? Heck, one of Page 2's venerable writers prides himself on shoving hip hop lingo down our throats. Why feign surprise and indignation when the n-word is used?

The author rightly decides that the only way to curb the use of the word by society in general is for those with the high profiles to stop using it.

If they don't, they have no right to get mad when others do. After all, the goal was to devalue the word. Mission accomplished.

Maybe Vick Can Throw With His Legs

2006-12-01T15:57:00.000-05:00

Vick displays his prowess in the pocket.

Michael Vick has, quite probably the best legs and rushing ability of any QB ever.

Did you know that Atlanta QB Michael Vick needs just 99 rushing yards to break the all-time single-season record for a quarterback? Vick also needs just 130 rushing yards to become the first quarterback to rush for 1,000 yards in a season.

Time to punch his ticket to the hall of fame or what? Rushing ability trumps winning, pass accuracy, leadership, work ethic and decision making skills, right?

Leave My Smoot Alone!

2006-12-01T15:21:00.000-05:00

Fred Smoot, of Vikings' boat party fame, was the target last week of a complaint lodged by a 22 year old woman. Allegedly, Smoot pushed the woman down in his driveway after he got mad at her and told her to leave his house.

Today, police say the complaint has been dropped by the woman, and no charges will be filed. Apparently, two friends with the woman would not substantiate her claims.

"She and two girlfriends met Smoot and his friends at a downtown Minneapolis club, and at closing time on Nov. 21 they were invited to his home. She said Smoot later got mad, saying she had disrespected him. He told her to leave and pushed her down in his driveway about 4 a.m. When she got up, she said, she accidentally kicked his car. Then she and her friends left in a taxi. She said she and her friends had been drinking that evening but she wasn't drunk."

First, I ask you: Does this sound like Fred Smoot's style? To turn women away without at the very least, a lap dance? Brings three woman home and then asks them to leave? PUHLEEZE! That ain't the Fred Smoot we know and ridicule.

Perhaps the most telling bit of the episode:

"The report said that when she went to Eden Prairie police about 1:30 p.m. that day...The woman asked police how to get a restraining order against Smoot, whom she had met that night, and how to sue him."

Anyone get the feeling that that last line pretty much sums up what took place here?

Ho's...this one is even too lazy to earn her dough through lap dances and oral sex, like the girls on the boat. Take a lesson, honey: If you are gonna try and play Fred Smoot, you got's to PLAY Fred Smoot.

What is "dirty"?

2006-11-30T12:59:00.000-05:00

Was reading thebiglead.com the other day (if you don't read it you should...along with the daily hoops stuff and blog links, they have some great posts on topics that you won't find on other sports sites) came across their interview with Dan Wetzel.

Interesting read. One of the questions he was asked was which programs in college hoops were the dirtiest. His response was essentially that everyone pretty much operates in a gray area.

And that got us thinking. The contributors here attended a college that is home to one of the most legendery hoops programs in the land, and is usually held up as a bastion of compliance and wholesomeness. We figured it might be fun to just throw out a few things of which we are aware might have happened. Now these are just examples of things that might go on...not accusations. Although, if these examples did take place, they would be told by first person accounts. Anyway, you get the message...covering our asses OJ style.

-Our alma mater took great pride (and these NBA stars lapped up the media attention) when some of the bigger name players that left early for the NBA "came back" in the off season to finish their degrees and then attended graduation. Well, if attending the first day of class and then never showing up again, while the rest of the class members are held to a standard that if they are not present when certain guest speakers are there or if they miss 3 classes, they can not pass the summer class is "graduating"...we think that sheet of paper housed in expensive wood up on our wall has lost some of its luster.

-Blue Books. Remember those? You fill them up with whatever BS you can think of to answer essay questions on exams. It's wild when, you show up at the exam...walk up to the desk next to the instructor and pick up an empty blue book...then sit down and start the exam..WHILE a basketball player walks in hands the instructor a blue book that is already filled out...and goes home.

-Cars. Cars. Cars. Certain high profile players and two sport athletes had some phat ass rides. Weird, how guys that came from single parent low income backgrounds could have several different new rides during the year. I guess that food stipend each month is a lot bigger than we thought. We thought it was about enough to cover meals...somehow these guys stretched it into new Lexus' and Range Rovers.

-Weed. Bet selling weed out of your apartment would be a good way to finance the requisite bling necessary to look like an NBA star while on a college "salary".

-Free housing. That rent stipend would go a lot further if "friends" of the program owned the apartment you stay in...

-Control. Get picked up by the police? Been in a fight? Caused a problem out in town? One call from the higher ups in the basketball office can make that disappear in an instant. Won't even be on the police blotter.

Again, these aren't accusations. And really, they aren't examples of anything earth shattering or truly unexpected. But they are examples that even places thought of as being pristine have happenings that go on...and some are clearly institutionally condoned...that are pretty gray in color.

NC State: Cowher Not Interested

2006-11-30T09:19:00.000-05:00

NC State fans have been buzzing about the possibility of Bill Cowher taking over their faltering program. The rumors centered on the poor season the Steelers were having and the fact that many believe this will be his last season in the Iron City. And of course, his being an NC State alum and building a brand new mansion in Raleigh fueled the fire of fantasy at North Carolina's land grant university.

Well, looks like those dreams of a savior for the program are short lived:

"I'm very flattered to hear some of the things that have been coming out, but I'm not a candidate," Cowher said after practice. "I have a job here, and my focus really is on this job right here, so you can take me off the list."

This really isn't a shock. After 15 years as an NFL head coach, the prospect of having to hit the recruiting trail can't be terribly appealing. And let's face it, Cowher's tough guy routine is not something that plays well to the young athlete these days. John Bunting over at UNC found that out. Talking to several UNC players, they made it clear that they felt a lot of potential recruits to the program were turned off by the tough guy disciplinarian style of Bunting.

Running the NC State program is not a plumb job, either. Amato's run peaked a few years ago with the win over Notre Dame in the Gator Bowl. After that it has been declining on a yearly basis. The most positive aspect of things over in Raleigh are the facility upgrades and stadium expansion that have taken place under Amato. On the downside, the natives have been restless. NC State has always had an inferiority complex due to the proximity to Carolina and Duke, the academic reputations of Carolina and Duke and of course hoops. NC State fans somehow have been convinced they can dominate those schools in football, be a power and get respect. But lack of success against their archrival (UNC, who has been atrocious the past few years) hasn't helped the situation and expectations in Raleigh. If they can't beat UNC while the 'Heels are at the bottom, well, that doesn't paint a rosey picture.

NC State is certainly hoping for at least a reasonably well known name to take the job. Competing with UNC bringing in Butch Davis down the road is tough. And speculation is already growing that Davis is going to be bringing in some high powered assistant coaches. Davis also said that he plans on focusing on making the state of North Carolina his primary recruiting grounds (UNC was very successful during the last several years of Mack Brown's reign, when they completely locked down NC). Add to the mix that Wake Forest is going to be higher on recruits' radar after the year they had, and ECU just beat NC State and is climbing back up the ladder.

It is clear: Whomever takes over at NC State will have a hell of a lot of work to do.

Def Comedy Jam With Michael Irvin

2006-11-29T09:43:00.000-05:00

Tom Knott wrote an interesting article in the Washington Times, basically saying that Michael Irvin's jokes were out of line, but also chastising those who got their noses bent out of shape by them.

While we do believe that in a way, since the jokester was Michael Irvin, that taking them too seriously is not necessary: Wagging a finger at those that didn't appreciate them and telling those people that double standards exist so get over it is....well....essentially BS.

Knott pleads his case by essentially saying that it is incumbent on the viewer/listener to understand that Michael Irvin was not only making a joke, but was using it as a backhanded compliment to Romo. He goes on to compare the comments made by a jokester/clown to those made by Jimmy "the Greek"and other's by categorizing the one's that weren't made in jest as being worthy of scorn because they were attempts at actual social commentary. They weren't simple (but poor) attempts at a complimentary joke.

"Irvin may be a clown, but he is harmless. The same cannot be said of so many of the other clowns on the airwaves."

Agreed. Few would argue that Irvin is a clown. But are jokes of that type harmless?

Probably not. One of the problems that exists is this: If we are to forgive Michael Irvin and say "he's just a clown", what are we to do when ESPN trots Michael Irvin out and he gives us "serious" commentary?

Forget about double standards and what would happen if a white guy said something of the same nature. That is a whole other issue. But what happens the next time there is sports-race story in football and ESPN let's Irvin comment? We have been told to allow Irvin leeway on this because he is comic relief. A sideshow. Not to be taken seriously. How can ESPN then trot him out to give us serious opinions...on anything? Accepting Michael Irvin as a loose cannon and as comedy relief is one thing. Trotting him out holding a microphone with an ESPN logo and letting him take on the role of serious commentator is something else. Even in sports journalism, there is something called credibility.

By allowing Michael Irvin to get away with this sort of commentary, and then later allowing him to make "serious" commentary degrades the credibility of the WWL. Michael Irvin makes off the wall comments continually. Remember the TO fiasco involving his saying the Eagles would be undefeated if Favre were the QB instead of McNabb, and the racial implications of the white QB on the downslide over the black QB in his prime? Do you also remember that that whole thing originated through comments made on the Dan Patrick show...by Michael Irvin?

If ESPN wants Irving to be the host of the WWL's version of Def Comedy Jam, that is fine. But by doing so, they seriously undermine their own credibility. How the hell are we supposed to know which crazy Irvin statements are serious, and which are part of the Def Comedy set?

Michael Strahan calls Plaxico Burress Out...

2006-11-29T09:39:00.000-05:00

"It's a shame, because Plaxico is a great player and a good guy to be around, but at the same time you're judged by your actions on the field and you can't give up, you can't quit, because you're not quitting on yourself, you're quitting on us," Strahan said Monday on his weekly WFAN appearance."

Between Eli Manning's rapidly plummeting confidence and a growing feeling the coach Tom Coughlin is losing the team...now throw into the mix Strahan esssentially calling Plaxico Burress a quitter...and well, things don't look so rosey for the Giants.

We are anxious to see Burress' response...he of the diva tendencies and all...

On The Wire:

2006-11-29T09:02:00.000-05:00

-A scouting report for the big conference title game this week, the MAC conference

-Florida might be down 3 starters for the SEC title game

-Does it even matter to Oklahoma that Adrian Peterson is not playing ?

-Another coach bites the dust

-Offensive line woes plague Florida for the SEC title game

-Jim Leavitt says he has no interest in leaving USF...think he means it ?

BCS Title Game: What if USC and FL BOTH lose?

2006-11-28T15:26:00.000-05:00

If by some freak of nature both UF and USC lose, then Michigan gets the bid, right?

A team with 5 wins over teams with winning records and wins over two teams currently in the BCS Top 25 deserves to be in, right?

Well, let's throw in the fact that that team is also undefeated!

That's right, we are talking about Boise St.

Michigan has 4 wins against teams with winning records and also two wins over teams currently in the BCS Top 25. And they have a loss.

If USC and FL lose: Why not Boise?

How Joe Theismann clears his mind.

2006-11-27T21:46:00.000-05:00

Joe T after knocking some sense into himself....

Our favorite Joe Theismann moment from last night:

Hasselbeck drops back to pass and ends up tucking the ball and running.

Theismann says he did it because he is upset with his decision making and wanted to get hit to have some sense knocked into himself. Then he says, "Really, that's how it happens."

After a slight pause, Tony K says, "OK...I can't let that one go...the guy has been out for four weeks and you are saying he WANTS to get hit????"

Like Theismann or don't...but you gotta admit...NOBODY sees the game the way he does...

Let's put the team that beat ND worse in the title game...

2006-11-27T15:20:00.000-05:00

Is the most telling agrument in who deserves a crack at Ohio St. simply which team beat Notre Dame worse?

Gerry Ahern over at yahoo sports thinks so.

"But as the Bowl Championship Series computers whirred and spit out the Trojans as the new No. 2 team in the land Sunday night, it dawned on me – we now have an apples-to-apples comparison of USC and No. 3 Michigan – the teams’ performances against the Fighting Irish, their lone common opponent."

Uggh...so this is what it comes down to? Can there be a less reasonable approach to this? You are comparing a game played in early September to a game played in late November.

"The evidence seems pretty empirical, especially when you factor in that the Wolverines’ lone loss came by three points at top-ranked Ohio State (12-0), while the Trojans lost at unranked Oregon State (8-4) by two."

Very true. Michigan's loss was way more "impressive" than USC's (funny, we always thought a loss was a loss). But hey, why not also factor in the WINS?

"Strength of schedule? USC faced 10 teams that will play in bowls, Michigan seven."

Ok, so wouldn't that imply that USC played a more formidable schedule? And if we look more closely, it is no longer just an implication:

Michigan beat 5 teams with winning records. In what is widely recognized as a down year in the Big Ten, Michigan's non-conference wins were ND, Central Michigan, Vandy and Ball St. The wins over teams with winning records were ND, Wisconsin, Central Michigan, Penn St. and Purdue. Only ND and Wisconsin are currently ranked.

USC beat 6 teams with winning records. Their non-conference schedule included wins over Arkansas (who is in the SEC title game), Nebraska (who is in the Big 12 title game) and ND. Four of the teams that USC beat are currently ranked. The IF factor: If Arkansas and/or Nebraska win their conference title...then game over. A PAC-10 championship and a win(s) over other conference champions HAS to trump finishing second in the Big Ten. If it doesn't then why have conferences?

Apparantly, Gerry doesn't care:

"As you do the math, it seems clear that the Maize and Blue should be making their way to the desert for a date with the Buckeyes, not the Cardinal and Gold."

Where did Gerry learn to do math? It must have been in Ann Arbor. He has completely disregarded that USC's schedule is MUCH more impressive than Michigan's, and seems to think that because Michigan beat ND by a few more points...that that is the determining factor. Is he kidding?

Sorry, Gerry. BOTH teams lost. Giving Michigan the edge because they lost to a better team doesn't trump the fact that the Trojans played a harder schedule and racked up WINS over better teams. Both teams lost a game. If you are going to let the determining factor be the loss and not the wins...then undefeated Boise State should get the bid!

The Coaching Carousel

2006-11-27T11:11:00.000-05:00

Looks like Mich. St. is taking Mark Dantonio of Cincy link

Mike Shula is shown the door at 'Bama.

Dirk Koetter's desk is cleared out Arizona State.

Chuck Amato falls victim to John Bunting's evil strategy to save all his wins for the end of the season and beat virtually no one for the past three years but Duke and NC State.

CAROLINA: ARE...YOU...READY?!?!?!

2006-11-27T10:53:00.000-05:00

The Butch Davis Era begins!

Could he LOOK more thrilled to be in the Southern Part of Heaven????

Check here for a special message from Butch to Carolina fans, AND to order the hot commodity that surely will be UNC season tickets. If you DON'T order TODAY, there are NO guarantees you will get 'em.

TAR!!!!!

HEELS!!!!

King Me

2006-11-26T23:48:00.000-05:00

This week in Peter King's fantasy tips:

Two pieces of advice on this long, wonderful weekend:
• Life advice: Enjoy the turkey. Best meal of the year.
• Fantasy advice: Don't play turkeys.

And don't take the fantasy advice of turkeys....

1. You probably will be tempted to play Ronnie Brown, the Miami running back bothered by a sore groin. The Lions' best run stuffer, Shaun Rogers, is eligible to return from his steroid suspension but will miss the game after a knee scope. Unless you have bad alternatives, I would sit Brown. It's all about human nature. The Lions have played some ferocious games on Thanksgiving. They'll have some emotion trying to stuff Joey Harrington into the turf. I like Miami, but I fret the Dolphins will win it with defense, not offense.

Ronnie Brown 15 carries for 65 yards...he was actually doing OK til he got banged up...Peter's concerns were about his groin...but he ended up breaking his hand...the groin was fine...as for the ferocious tradition of the Lions on Turkey Day...well, they were pussy cats today...and Joey Harrington had a nice day...over 200 and 3 TDS...guess Peter's mind was on the pumpkin pie and not the prediction...

2. Re Harrington: I know you all want to play him, because he's looked good, and it's emotional for him to return. While I do think he'll play better than Brown -- there's not a Lions pass-rusher worth his giblets playing in this game, with James Hall and Rogers missing -- emotion in games like this can be bad, particularly for someone who plays a precision position. Sit Harrington.

as noted...over 200 and 3 TDs...how bout we sit Peter instead?

3. It's getting close to playoff time for all of you, so this would be some advice for you about December playoff lineups. If you've been waiting for the Tampa Bay defense to come around, thinking they'd finally get it together down the stretch, please stop. Now, Indy, New Orleans and Cleveland are all stingier on D than Tampa Bay. And who would have ever guessed that the Bucs and the Redskins would be 15th and 16th in the NFC in sacks? Dump the Bucs.

every stinking week Peter slips in a "tip" that does not even qualify as a tip...we call them the "I bet you have a nose on your face" tips...he points out something so painfully obvious that you want to smack his wife...if you haven't figured out by now that Tampa Bay has a pourous D and isn't worth playing...well, YOU deserve to get Peter's advice then...

4. Had a long chat with Mike Nolan, Mr. Dapper, on Tuesday. He was extolling the virtues of his defense, and rightfully so. The Niners have won three in a row and climbed into the NFC West race, and they've done it with Frank Gore and defense. In the last 14 quarters, San Francisco's allowed 40 points. Pick up the 49ers defense for your playoff run.

The 'Niners lost...and the D registered two sacks and a fumble recovery...not a big point day for fantasy...we'll see how they do the rest of the way...but my advice would be to dump them...ever heard of the Midas touch?...anything Midas touched turned to gold...well, Peter has the Fecal Touch....figure it out...

5. Strange Injury Note of the Week: Dallas has zero players on its injury report. This doesn't mean the Cowboys don't have guys banged up. It means Bill Parcells is the coach, and you don't get hurt when you play for Bill Parcells. Little side note there. Anyway, with the Tampa secondary beat up so bad, even if Little T Learns to Share Thursday against the Bucs, there will still be enough to go around for everyone in the Dallas receiving game. Both Terrell Owens and Terry Glenn are good plays against Tampa, and I'd play Patrick Crayton if I had him. Dallas should throw for 300 in this one.

KUDOS!...Peter hits the nail on the head...instead of smashing his thumb, like he usually does...

6. Tatum Bell plays for Denver. Must game for the Broncs. Play him.

we searched and searched the box score...no Tatum Bell...then we searched the inactive list...THERE he was....great inside info there, Peter!...

7. Jump on Justin Fargas as a December pickup, obviously. But just as obvious should be this: Don't play him against the voracious Chargers this weekend. Save him for Houston next Sunday.

sit Justin Fargas and his 1.6 yards per carry average over the last 3 games?...nice tip!!! Pick him up for December...running behind that Raider line?...are you trying to destroy people, Peter?

8. Understand this about John Fox: He won't play favorites at running back. He'll play both DeShaun Foster and DeAngelo Williams down the stretch. Williams has 27 carries the last two weeks, Foster 22. I'd still have both active, with a nod toward Williams if you carry both and have to play just one.

Peter does it again...more advice to play an inactive player (Foster)...and Williams lights it up with 68 yards and no TDs...

9. With Eli Manning in crisis mode, look for Tom Coughlin to put him in position to do exceedingly well at Tennessee. Not saying you should play him or not, because this is a bad matchup for the Giants; Tennessee is playing well on defense and Albert Haynesworth is back to clog the rush lanes for Tiki Barber. But I think Manning will throw for a high percentage in Nashville. Jeremy Shockey owners? Do not hesitate. He'll have 11 balls thrown to him Sunday.

SWEET...one of Peter's patented "I'm not telling you to play him or not" tips...Eli was 18-28, 143 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT and a 59.1 QB rating...Shockey 5 catches for 39 yards...

10. If you can get a plugged nickel for him, trade Edgerrin James now, before your playoffs begin. He's coming off his best game in Arizona, and maybe you can get a fourth receiver or second tight end. He won't have a good game down the stretch, and certainly not Sunday against the stingy Vikes.

and Peter saves his best for last...James goes 4-15 as the Cards completely abandon the run...

It is too painful to go back through his picks and tally the correct ones...HOWEVER, we are deducting extra points for advising that we play not one, but TWO inactive players...doesn't this guy supposedly get inside info?...HA!...

Hope your turkey was stuffed with as much space taking filling as Peter's tips column.

Ladies and Gentlemen: Peter King, Football Expert and Fantasy Guru.

Michael Vick: Does His Marcus Vick Impression

2006-11-26T16:38:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, some folks were ready to give Michael Vick a statue in Canton. After two nice passing games in a row there were declarations that his potential had been fulfilled. But what might be reality is starting to set in in Atlanta.

After 4 straight losses in which the Falcons have failed to put up more than 14 points in a game, and one dismal performance after another, it seems things are approaching a breaking point in ATL. The owner has said he is going to "evaluate" all facets of the organization. Can you blame the guy? He made Vick the highest payed player in the league and has nothing but the occassional flash of Vick's "potential" to show for it.

Factor the owner's dissatisfaction in with the losing streak and Jim Mora, Sr's comments about Vick being a "coach killer", and you end up with an angry Vick storming off the field flipping off fans and throwing F bombs at them as well (haven't found any pics of it on the net yet, but they showed clips on TV).

Things are gonna get real interesting in Hotlanta!

Notre Dame has left the building

2006-11-26T00:51:00.000-05:00

USC dominated the Irish. They were able to pressure Brady Quinn early on, and the Trojan offense was able to get off to a quick start that ND could not match. In spite of that, ND had some chances and couldn't capatilize. All in all, USC handled the Irish about as effectively as Michigan did.

The thin opening for the Irish to make the title game has been officially slammed shut. ND will probably get an at large BCS bid, and will probably get a lot of gripe from the haters and teams with similar records that are left out (we're looking at YOU SEC teams). But the bottom line is ND is cash money. And the BCS series of bowls is cash money. So, an eligible ND team and a BCS bowl go together like sex with Jenna Jamison and a shot of penicillin.

The games with Michigan and USC exposed how far ND still has to go to be back in the picture as a serious contender. But Weiss does deserve credit for taking ND to the point now that they win the games they are supposed to win. Davie and Willingham weren't able to do that consistantly.

Well, looks like things are now down to this:

-USC beats UCLA and they get Ohio St.
-USC loses to UCLA and Michigan gets 'em again
-Sorry Florida, just not gonna happen (cut to Urban Meyer temper tantrum)

West Virginia, Mountain Mama, Lose at Home...

2006-11-25T15:33:00.000-05:00

Take me home,
To the Place,
Where I belong,
WEST VIRGINIA, mountain mama
Take me home...

West Virginia makes it clear where they DON'T belong....

WVU relied on 132 yards of total rushing and 2 fumbles...and mixed in 2 interceptions...to make their statement about getting an at large BCS bowl bid: WE DON'T WANT IT!

South Florida (which by the way, is NOT in south Florida) came out and shut down the combo of White and Slaton. And WVU made the same types of mistakes that cost them the game at Louisville.

If WVU beats Rutgers, the Big East will be down to just one BCS bid...seems like just yesterday we were debating which Big East team was gonna make the title game. HA! Good One!

HEY! Wash Your Hands!

2006-11-25T12:39:00.000-05:00

Story

Next time you are at a sports bar...make sure to wash your hands if you use the facilities!

At a sports bar in Ft. Worth, TX, a man became irrate that some customers apparently didn't exercise proper hygiene practices. He called them names and threatened to slash their throats. And it wasn't an idle threat, either. The man hid in bushes outside the tavern and attacked the men when they left; stabbing one 4 times.

Bit of germophobe, are we?

On The Wire:

2006-11-25T12:19:00.000-05:00

After upending Arkansas, LSU is proudly thumping its chest and extolling the virtues that they bring to the BCS table. Wisconsin had been doing the same thing, for no apparant reason. At least LSU does have a legit reason to stump...if Florida knocks off Arkansas; LSU probably will get the second SEC bid.

An argument that South Carolina-Clemson should be considered amongst the great college football rivalries. Sure, they hate each other...but, one of the key ingredients in being held in the same high esteem as the great ones: There has to be a national interest. Outside the Palmetto State....who cares?

Apparently, someone cares about UNC-DUKE : "We want to win this game bad because it's our next game." UNC Wide Receiver Jesse Holley (check out "Jesse Holley for Heisman" , very funny) said. "We want to beat Duke because a big rivalry is at stake. We don't want to lose the Victory Bell to those guys." So...umm...yeah...big rivalry...a bell...the star power of Jesse Holley...yeah...the nation waits on the edge of their seats...

A few weeks ago, the Oklahoma-OSU game seemed to be just for state bragging rights...now, with A&M dumping Texas (we've been posting they were over rated all year)...OU is playing for a spot in the Big 12 title game.

'Canes Coach: Who's It Gonna Be?

2006-11-25T11:25:00.000-05:00

There is obviously going to be all kinds of speculation about who Miami should bring in as the new coach. Here is some of the speculation and thoughts floating around out there:

-Miami Needs Bob Stoops

- A look at all the possible candidates

-Miami needs to open the checkbook and bring in Rutger's Greg Schiano

-Is Miami job a plumb job? Facility and salary upgrades are necessary to get a top coach AND keep the talent at home

-Barry Alvarez was mentioned because of past ties to Donna Shalala, but those were quickly squashed

-Miami's past championships still means it is a top job

-Unrest has effect on recruits

Joe Knows...umm...what does Joe know?

2006-11-24T21:24:00.000-05:00

If you enjoy watching Joe Theismann expose his lack of intellect on MNF, may we suggest you peruse his written offerings as well?

In a recent column in espn Insider, Theismann lays claim to a discovery that he says no one else has talked about yet. The discovery that WR's have become the new alpha males on NFL teams. That now, when you talk about team leaders, WR's are the "engines" of the teams.

"Now, when I talk about the engine of an organization, I'm talking about a guy who gets the team going and without him the team wouldn't be nearly as good."

The examples he gives are Steve Smith, Terrell Owens, Randy Moss, Plaxico Burress, Tory Holt, Anquan Boldan, Chad Johnson, Hines Ward, Andre Johnson and Javon Walker.

Certainly, a guy like Steve Smith is widely recognized as the "engine" in Carolina. The argument could probably be made for Holt in St. Louis. But Terrell Owens in Dallas? Moss in Oakland? Johnson (this year) in Cincy? Certainly, his examples present plenty of room for debate. But the most suspect part of his column is this:

"The reason this sudden change has taken place is because of the change in offensive rules. It's vitally important to have a very good receiver on your team because they've been set up to be the true game changers on the field and it isn't as important to have a great quarterback to be successful. "

Really? Quick look at the QB's of the Division leaders in the AFC: Manning, Brady, McNair and Rivers. Even Joe can't argue that Manning and Brady are GREAT. McNair has been widely credited with being the key ingredient in the Raven's new offensive competency. And Rivers is having an INCREDIBLE first season as a starter. Oh, and not ONE of the "engines" that Joe mentioned plays for any of these teams.

Over in the NFC, the current leaders are Dallas, Carolina tied with N.O., Chicago, and Seattle. Dallas has gotten great play out of Romo. Does anyone (besides Joe) care to argue that since he took over, HE is the "engine", and not Owens? Anyone, anyone? Ok. Chicago didn't have a player on Joe's list, and we all (even Joe) know that the D is the "engine" in Chitown. In Seattle, when they are healthy, Hasselbeck and Alexander are the driving force. The Saints signed Drew Brees in the offseason and he is having a great year, and while rookie Marquis Colston has been great; Brees has been the difference. That brings us to Carolina. And this is the one team that I think Joe is right about, and it was proven while Steve Smith was injured.

Obviously, great receivers are a key ingredient to a winning team. But the idea that if you have a very good receiver and an average QB you enhance your chances to be a winner, or that the trend is that WR's are now the "leaders" on most teams is close to stupid.

I think Joe has somehow misconstrued the diva behavior of many WR's and has equated it with being a leader. Look at the teams on top of each division. Not only do almost all have a very good QB, but very few have players Joe listed as engines.

This is an open plea for ESPN to please keep Joe's low football IQ confined to MNF. Allowing his insights and "discoveries" to proliferate in other mediums and outlets could be construed as cruel and unusual punishment. Please ESPN, we have done nothing so bad as to deserve this! How dare you take my money at Insider and then wrap a sloppy turd in an ESPN logo and call us even!

LSU-Arkansas: The picture becomes clearer

2006-11-24T18:25:00.000-05:00

For the past few weeks the bellyaching about the BCS and who will be in the title game has been non-stop. Which one loss team will get to go? Complaints that the BCS is flawed and sucks. Hate and discontent.

Sure, the BCS isn't perfect. But, generally, things seem to somehow pan out. Not long ago, there were about 6 teams hoping to stake a claim to a shot at the title game. Now it's really down to about 3. And of that only 2 really have a shot. We are going to hear Urban Meyer doing some more bitching if Florida beats Arkansas, but it won't matter.

-The Big East teams ensured that none of them would come out alive.

-LSU just ensured Arkansas is done.

So, that leaves us three with a claim: Michigan, USC and Florida. Some would say ND still is in the mix, but we can't see anyway they are gonna jump Michigan, even with a win over USC. That beatdown in South Bend may have been early in the year, but ND haters have kept it fresh in everyone's mind.

-USC: If they beat ND, they are going.

-Michigan: We believe if USC loses, Michigan is in.

-Florida: Not gonna get the nod. If they beat Arkansas and USC loses, Michigan is still going to get in ahead of them.

Predictions:

-USC beats ND. Love the Irish, but USC is clicking right now and ND just doesn't have the D.

-We also think (and hope) that Arkansas is going to knock of Florida. We hope so, anyway. We are going to hear enough arguments about whether it should be USC or Michigan. There will be no room for Urban Meyer's temper tantrums.

The Playmaker Chronic-les

2006-11-24T12:55:00.000-05:00

Michael Irvin. To know him is to love him. Renowned for his incredible effort on the field and for being the heart and soul of a Cowboy dynasty. Now, frequently in the news for his "interesting" views and statements from his perch on ESPN. Always smiling and dressed to the nines, The Playmaker has become the Teflon sports commentator. Seems the man can say just about anything and all he gets is, at worst, a scolding from Tom Jackson: "Are YOU retarded?"

His most recent contribution to the blogosphere was his insinuation (maybe not a strong enough word) on the Dan Patrick Show that Tony Romo is as good as he seems to be because one of his female ancestors went out behind the woodpile with an African slave. Yes. We know. It HAD to be a joke. But the reality is, if any such joke comes across pale, thin lips; it results in termination. But Irvin is able to brush his shoulder off, smile and slide on down the way. The Teflon sports commentator.

In case you have forgotten his past, have a gander at this compilation of his greatest hits. And remember: Statistics show that people generally only get caught 1 out of every 75-100 times. Imagine the Playmaker stories that are still out there!

1996: Irvin and former Cowboy Alfredo Roberts are arrested, found in a hotel with a few ladies and plenty of coke. Rumors of sex toys abounded, including a phallus taped to a photographer’s monopod. Gotta be able to reach the girls from all the way over at the coke table, right?

A Police Officer pleads guilty for paying to have Irvin killed. Problems between Irvin and the cops girlfriend led the cop to make payments to an undercover DEA agent.

Irvin is accused of holding a gun to a stipper’s head while teammate Erik Williams raped her. The stripper was later convicted of perjury.

2000: In the wrong place at the wrong time, Irvin is busted with the sister of a fugitive police were searching for...in an apartment with plenty of drugs. He had recently completed his probation for the cocaine rap. The interesting part of this is that the police were searching for the woman because she was believed to be involved in the selling of the heroin that killed former Irvin teammate Mark Tuinei.

2001: Irvin surrenders after an arrest warrant for felony cocaine possession is issued on him.

2005: The incident with the crack pipe. The "I took it from my friend" excuse.

These are just the criminal incidents.

The legend of the White House in Valley Ranch, a place to run hookers and party for the team members, led to one of our favorite quotes:

Nate Newton said, "We got a little place over here where we’re running whores in and out, trying to be responsible, and we’re criticized for that, too."

And finally, one of the less publicized Irvin incidents:

In training camp in 1998, players were lined up to get hair cuts in the dorm. Irvin was in a rush (probably to get to the White House) and cut the line. Lineman Everett McIver grabbed him and told him to get back in line. The requisite brawl breaks out and Irvin grabs a pair of scissors. He cuts McIver....across the throat. The coach at the time poo-pooed the event, saying boys will be boys. Witnesses were shocked that Irvin sliced a guy across the throat with scissors.

Now, do you really think someone from ESPN is going to confront Irvin about his racial jokes, and risk a Columbian necktie? Irvin is the Teflon Playmaker. He should be in the Penn, but instead is on ESPN. You can't touch this!

Ranking the Top Ten (after happy hour)

2006-11-21T19:53:00.000-05:00

Long day at work, and after a stop for happy hour and several discounted bourbon and waters, we feel that after 13 weeks of college football, we know enough to give a dead on accurate Top Ten.

Let's preface this by saying we put much stock in the records and schedules of the teams you beat. If you are 9-2 and the only teams on your schedule that had winning records beat you...peace! You ain't in our rankings. We will take an 8-3 team that maybe played a crappy game and lost to one team that didn't have a great record, BUT has wins over good competition, over the 9-2 team we just mentioned, any day (yeah, I know that was an awkward sentence...the bourbon). Anyway, if you didn't beat anybody worth a shit...you ain't worth a shit in our poll. If you beat someone that was #12 in week 2, but now is 6-6 or unranked...we don't care. All that tells us is that team was way f'ing over rated early in the year. #'s 7-10 are pretty much interchangeable. Some of them have beaten each other. And others just don't have that BIG win to differentiate themselves.

The Bourbon Top 10:

10) LSU: Yeah, they have two losses and there are a few other one loss teams out there, but they have better wins than Wisconsin and Rutgers.

9)West Virginia: That offense just looks so damned good. Don't really have the big win. Maryland seems like the best team they have beaten. However, I'm telling you, if they beat Rutgers, they leapfrog Louisville. I don't care if Louisville beat them.

8)Louisville: Obviously, that loss to Rutgers after the WVU win ruined their season. Funny, Rutgers fell into the same big game hangover after they beat 'Ville.

7) Notre Dame: Disclosure: Huge ND fan. Probably judge them too harshly as a result. But the reality is that the best win is over 9-2 Georgia Tech. The wins over 8-4 Purdue and Penn State, with records bloated feasting on a crappy Big 10 under caste, just aren't enough to get them higher...but it is enough to get them above the Big East boys who can't even really boast of bigger wins than that.

6) Boise State: Seems high, huh? Well, they have beaten everyone on their schedule and their quality wins over 7-4 Oregon St (who has beaten USC) and 9-2 Hawaii certainly match the best wins of the teams with losses behind them.

5) Florida: The wins at Tennessee and over LSU were quality wins. They have taken heat for not being overly impressive in a lot of their games. The loss at Auburn was a game they could have won. Compared to the one loss teams ranked ahead of them, Florida just hasn't been as impressive. They get their chance to prove otherwise head to head with Arkansas, tho.

4) Michigan: Michigan is a very good team. The win at ND was impressive. Other than that, their most impressive game was a loss. They beat 11-1 Wisconsin, who has played no one (the only teams they beat with winning records were Penn St and Purdue, not impressive). Other than the blowout in South Bend, Michigan can't match the wins of the teams we have ahead of them. They just can't. If USC or Arkansas lose one of their remaining games, obviously, Big Blue moves up.

Comment: Everyone that has Michigan #2 touts that blowout at South Bend as being a big part of the reason. Yet, the same people say ND is overrated and hasn't beaten anyone. If ND is so overrated and hasn't beaten anyone, how the hell can Michigan's win over them hold so much weight? You can't have it both ways. If you think ND is over rated and has no big wins (and we kinda do) then you have to reflect that in Michigan's ranking (and we do).

3) Arkansas: The wins at Auburn and over Tennessee are more impressive to us than Michigan's wins at ND and over Wisconsin. As stated, Wisconsin ain't beat a team worth a damn this year. Yeah, the Hogs got hog-tied by USC. It was early in the year...we have USC as #2....so what the hell.

2) USC: Have been knocked because they haven't been as dominant this year as past years. But so what! Christ, they are playing so many underclassmen and STILL have been, in our minds, the best team outside of Columbus. The Oregon St. loss was a crapfest for USC, but losing that tight game seems to have woken them the hell up. They have been very tough since. Blowing out Stanford (as they should) and also overwhelming Oregon and Cal. If they beat ND and UCLA, I think that loss to Oregon St is easily forgiveable. A win over ND, and no one can touch their non-conference wins, and from top to bottom, the Pac-10 is much better than the Big 10. They have to get the nod over Michigan.

1) Ohio State: Yea, big shock. As the season has worn on, we aren't as impressed with the Texas win as we were at the time, but they have taken on all comers and pretty much dominated. Only real poor performance was Illinois, but that is easily forgiven. Even though we feel Texas is overated, they were still ranked #2 at the time, and that is a hell of an accomplishment to beat two #2's in the season.

Judging Peter

2006-11-21T16:40:00.000-05:00

See, here is why Peter King sucks…well, some of the many reasons:

"I'm not here to judge any of that. I'm here to analyze how he played in a crucial 26-10 loss to the Jaguars on Monday night. I charted his 41 throws and made this simple judgment on each of them: Was the ball thrown on target (within the plane of the body on a curl route, for example, or in stride on a cross or sideline throw); was it thrown too high or too far in front of the receiver to catch; was it thrown behind the receiver; or was it broken up by a defender at the line of scrimmage or downfield?"

You suck Peter...not here to judge anything...but you broke down every single throw he made and judged each one?...hey, you are a sports columnist...it's OK to judge...just quit with the BS act of "hey, fellas...I'm everyone's friend...I'm not here to judge"...I think what I hate most about Peter is that he has no sack...none.

"No way. Manning, Brady, Drew Brees and Carson Palmer are more invaluable to their teams right now. Remember 2002? The Eagles went 4-1 with A.J. Feeley playing quarterback, and it would have been 5-0 had David Akers made a chip-shot and beat the Giants."

There are many, many examples of why all those QB's are "more invaluable" to their teams right now...but Peter sites an example from 2002 to show us why McNabb is less valuable right now?...jeezus...next week he is gonna work in reverse and site reasons from this year why Aaron Brooks was a lousy quarterback two years ago...

Peter, I rue the day I first read you...but like a horrific car crash...I must stop and look at the carnage that is your column...I must witness the blight that you are on sports journalism...like a disciple of the devil, I pour over your fantasy tips...weighing the egregious suggestions against real outcomes, which inevitably, are wrong 85% of the time...I read your MMQB column, that document of deju vu you submit each week...which seems to pride itself in rehashing the painfully obvious but attempting to fool us into thinking there is some modicum of original thought or "insider" information contained in there...masking your mundane contributions to the weekend's happenings by camouflaging them with references to calling players on the phone and talking to this big wig or that big wig...and then feeding us information we have known for weeks...but I read...every column...I can no longer help myself...you have become my penance...through you I shall cleanse my soul...through you I shall achieve football divinity...you are my daily exercise in self flagellation...like a cilice tightened around my bleeding upper thigh, your "knowledge" will provide me salvation and clarity...it is only through the pain you administer that I will reach football nirvanah...the blood you let is my constant reminder of the only hope for those that enter your world...suffer the greatest pain...bask in the greatest pleasure...so, keep the blood flowing...slice me with your words...carve me with your insights (that my 10 year old mentioned two weeks prior)...flog me with your humorless anecdotes about travel...disembowel me with your colonoscopy play by play...blind me with references to your daughter...scald me with your coffee reviews...lobotomize me with the things you think you thunk...I feel no more pain...with an iron will and steady jaw...I scream: FREEDOM!...the pain has set me free!

WISCONSIN!!!!!....We said: SHUT UP!

2006-11-21T10:45:00.000-05:00

We have already posted twice about this here and here. But apparently, Wisconsin just doesn't care. Imagine that!

Having a never say die attitude is wonderful. It helps teams and people beat the odds and accomplish things they might never have been able to do. However, when you cross the line and hold out completely unrealistic hopes or refuse to believe that the rules apply to you...well, you end up just looking like a jackass.

With that in mind, we are looking at Wisconsin.

"The world of college football is very unique and very strange," Bielema said during a news conference Monday. "Every weekend there's a few things that pop up that surprise the outside world."

That is how Bret Bielema, Wisconsin's coach, views things. And he is holding out hope for no less than two stange and unique happenings:

1) Somehow, with neither team having a game left, for Wisconsin to jump from 8th in the BCS and leapfrog Michigan.
or
2) For the rules that only two teams from a conference can go to the BCS games not to apply.

It takes vision to lead a big time football program. It takes optimism. It takes a never say die attitude. But clearly, Bielema is leading his program with delusion.

"There are (five) teams in front of us and two of them play each other," Bielema said, with Notre Dame at Southern California on Saturday. "The others have opponents coming up that could be a toss-up game for them. I know eight minus four is four. I know there is a rule in the BCS that the top four teams automatically get BCS bowl berths."

Clearly, Bielema's hope is that all the teams ahead of him lose a game (which may happen) and that might vault the Badgers into the top 4. And the top 4 automatically get bids.

The only problem is that little rule about only 2 teams from one conference getting bids. And it trumps the top 4 rule.

So the reality of the situation is this: There is only one team that Wisconsin needs to pass. Michigan. And Michigan already beat Wisconsin, they don't play another game and Wisconsin doesn't play another game. So regardless if USC, ND, Florida, Arkansas or West Virginia lose ALL their remaining games, if Wisconsin doesn't pass Michigan, they CAN'T go!

BRETT BIELEMA DO YOU HEAR THAT!!!! YOU CAN'T GO!

Stop! Stop holding on to these crazy dreams and coming up with these insane scenarios and only reading one section of the BCS rules. JUST STOP.

If Michigan doesn't lose again, YOU CAN NOT PASS THEM IN THE RANKINGS. And we just checked the schedule and guess what? MICHIGAN DOES NOT PLAY AGAIN!

How can this be any clearer? How?

And IT Begins: Meyer Upset Over BCS Rankings

2006-11-20T10:49:00.000-05:00

Looks like Florida coach Urban Meyer is beginning the onslaught on the BCS rankings and demanding his Gators be more seriously considered a little early. Meyer is upset that Michigan is still number 2, after their loss. Of course, his team still has their rivalry game against FSU and the SEC title game with Arkansas. So, we could see Meyer being served an icey tall glass of STFU! before any of this even matters. Even though things still aren't clear in the BCS picture, you have to admit, things are sort of taking care of themselves week by week.

''If they do that [rematch], there should be a playoff system next year,'' Meyer said Sunday. ``I think if that [rematch] happens, I think it's over. All the presidents would need to get together immediately and put in a playoff system -- like now!''

Meyer probably should have included the caveat "Oh, and if we lose...disregard what I just said."

''I think that would be unfair to Ohio State and I think it would be unfair to the country. I don't believe [a rematch] is the right thing to do,'' Meyer said. ``You're going to tell Ohio State that they have to beat the same team twice and that is extremely difficult. I think they had their chance. Someone else should have a chance to go get No. 1.'' Meyer thinks it would be ludicrous, especially if Michigan won the rematch. "Absolutely [there would be no national champion]. If I'm Ohio State I go get a bunch of rings and say, `We won the national championship.' That's not right,'' Meyer said.

This is a legitimate gripe. In what was essentially the Big Ten conference championship game, Michigan lost. They had their chance at Ohio St.

''I think you can make a case for USC and you can make a case for us,'' Meyer said. ``Arguing for Arkansas would be a little more difficult because they went head to head and got blown out at home [by USC]. Same thing with Notre Dame. Not that they're not deserving, but the fact is they got beat at home [by Michigan] by a substantial margin.''

What Meyer didn't mention was that Florida lost to a 2 loss Auburn team that at this point is not in the mix for anything.

This is a complicated scenario. But Meyer is jumping the gun with his anger and lobbying. His team still has two very big games left. USC has two very big games. Arkansas has two very big games. ND has one big game.

To start holding your breath and stomping your feet before any of these are played out is premature. Michigan's season is over. They aren't going to be in a position to impress anyone the next two weeks. Florida is. Coach Meyer should let his teams performance the next two games do the lobbying. If his mouth runs but his team doesn't, that icey tall glass of STFU! will be waiting at the bar.

King Me

2006-11-19T16:27:00.000-05:00

This week in Peter King:

1. Pick a couple of lesser Bengals and Saints. Like tight end Reggie Kelly and wideout Devery Henderson or, if he plays, wideout Terrence Copper, who had a big fumble last week in Pittsburgh. Play one. Get a gut feeling. Why? The spillover effect from a 900-yard game, which I think will happen, means a couple of low-wattage players will blow up.

another of Peter's "pick everybody on both teams" deals...Kelly 1-32....Henderson 9-169...Copper 6-87 and a TD...I guess if you are giving out tips, the shotgun approach is a nice way to go...you will probably end up hitting something...

2. One of these weeks Joe Klopfenstein will have a big day at tight end for the Rams, and with the hard-charging Panther pass-rush coming aggressively at Marc Bulger, I'd pick this day. Klopfenstein has only nine catches, but his per-catch average is 14.4 yards.

yeah, one of these weeks he will...but not this week...one catch for 18 yds...this is the second time Peter has given us the Klopfenstein...both times with equally worthless results...PETER, if you are gonna rehash old tips, PLEASE use the ones (or one) that came thru!!!

3. Dick Jauron was born to run, even though he's not from New Jersey. That's why Anthony Thomas is a great play this weekend against the softish Texans.

Peter says ride the A-Train...if you did, you got 19-56 and no TDs...the Texans' defense may be soft....but Peter's pick is even fluffier...

4. I'm not sure exactly what this means as you plan your lineup, because I cannot definitely tell you to "Play Jake Plummer. Play Rod Smith.'' I do know this. Denver's going to have a chance to put up 30 on San Diego ... a very good chance. Not only will the Chargers be without pass-rusher Shawne Merriman (steroid suspension), but also out is invaluable defensive tackle Luis Castillo, sidelined for two weeks with a sprained ankle.

and we aren't exactly sure what your tip is, Peter...you aren't telling us to play Plummer or Smith..so, wtf are you telling us?...how is the Bronc's offense having a "very good chance" of putting up 30 on the Bolts a fantasy tip?...Peter, is this your special way of finally telling us you don't know wtf you are doing?...almost forgot...Denver didn't put up 30...

5. Can you still pick up Reche Caldwell? With Doug Gabriel having gone cold for New England, Caldwell's been the Patriots' best wideout weapon. He could have a 100-yard day in Green Bay.

I like your style on this one, Peter..."could have a 100 yard day"...way not to commit...oh, and Caldwell went 3-70... so, Peter "could" be wrong...

6. It's going to be a nice day at the Meadowlands ... and nice for the Bears' physical offensive weapons. Got a trade pending for Muhsin Muhammad? Pull the trigger. He's facing the Jets and Patriots secondaries the next two weeks.

and if you picked up Muhammad today....you got 2 catches and 29 yards...the only trigger i wanna pull has a barrel pointed at Peter...

7. This shouldn't come as a surprise, except maybe for its volume. But if I were you, and I had Julius Jones and Marion Barber, I'd play them both against the Colts. As Indy GM Bill Polian told me Friday: "Bad matchup for us.'' Physical Dallas run game vs. an Indy defense that gives up 5.1 yards per carry.

Barber only 35 yards, but 2 TDs...and Jones 79 yards...I guess we can give this one to Peter...although it doesn't add up to a ton of points...like a stopped clock...he is right twice a day on Sundays...

8. Oh, and play Tony Romo. He won't have Bob Sanders (injured knee) to scare the bejeezus out of him in the Colts secondary.

I dunno, what do you think...is 226 yards and no TD's a terrifying fantasy day?...what really scares the bejeezus out of people is that Peter is referred to as a "football expert" in some circles...

9. I've told you several times to ride Maurice Jones-Drew until he drops. My Jag-Giants advice: Ride Maurice Jones-Drew until he drops. No one in Jacksonville can catch, so they'll try to run all night.

Peter is doing so shitty this week, we aren't even going to bother to wait for this game to post...we will GIVE this one to Peter, sight unseen, and label it the stopped clock being right for that second time...

10. My unknown-guy tip of the week last Friday was Mark Bradley of the Bears. Worked out okay. Tip of the week this time: Owen Daniels. Houston tight end. He'll score this week ... and give you 80 receiving yards.

well, well...listen to Peter...sounding a little cocky there, isn't he...what are the odds of having tips two weeks in a row work out...let's see...Daniels: 1-10 and no TDS...sometimes it just seems like blind luck when he actually is right, doesn't it?...Peter, what did we tell you about the retread tips that didn't work out the first time?...a few weeks ago you gave us Daniels...and he gave us squat...

What was the deal with giving us the two tight end picks of guys you picked a few weeks ago? You were wrong to weeks ago...Peter, you are just getting lazy now! What, are you just gonna keep throwing these guys at us until they have a break out week...and then pat yourself on the back for giving us the Klopfenstein or Daniels? How bout giving these guys a shot and not mentioning them in your tips again, ok?..Jeezus...the requirements to be a guru sure have become lax...

Ladies and Gentlemen: Peter King, your football expert and fantasy guru!

The Rutgers Story:

2006-11-18T21:03:00.000-05:00

IT'S OVER

Cancel the BCS title game...

2006-11-18T20:05:00.000-05:00

Ok, Ohio St. won. The outcome of the came was never really in doubt. Michigan scored first, but OSU was able to get ahead and really never look back. Michigan gave a valliant effort, but they just didn't have enough.....DEFENSE. Yea, the team that was built up all year long as being a brick wall gave up over 40 points and over 500 yards. So, OSU is the last unbeaten...well, the last in contention since it seems Rutgers just isn't going to be able to leap frog some of the one loss teams. And they still have to play a WVU team that matches up with them better than Louisville did...in Morgantown.

As for the one loss teams. No one deserves a shot at OSU in a title game. Crown OSU now, and let the bowl games go on for the joy of it......oh, and the profit of it.

OSU just beat Michigan. A rematch? Pffft...please. You just had your shot.

None of the other one loss teams deserve a crack either:

USC lost to Oregon St....buh-bye.
ND lost to Michigan...if Michigan don't deserve a crack at it YOU don't either.
Florida lost to Auburn...I don't care how tough the SEC supposedly is...you still lost to a two loss team.
Arkansas lost to USC...we kicked USC out, so the Hogs can go with them.
The one loss Big East teams....well....they played in the Big East....see ya...

Let's send the glass football to Columbus, call it a season...and start anew with ranking the recruiting classes on signing day.

Futility Bowl 2006: UNC Squanders Chance

2006-11-18T16:16:00.000-05:00

While Duke is currently holding up their end of the deal by getting waxed by Georgia Tech (the game was still going as of this post), UNC decided to field a defense today against NC St. By doing so, the Tarheels wound up with a 23-9 victory and lost any claim to being the worst team in D-1.

The Tarheels relied on solid defense and a new found running attack to control the clock and win the battle of field position, setting up 3 field goals. The defense registered a fumble return for a touchdown.

It took 11 games, but right now, Carolina is playing as well as anyone in the Research Triangle (fyi, Wake Forrest is NOT in the Research Triangle), and look poised to knock off Duke next week in a game that now has lost much of its luster and appeal due to Carolina defeating NC St and registering their first win over a D-1 team this season.

Certainly, if this victory is followed up by a win at Duke, many will be questioning the dismissal of John Bunting. Over the last few seasons, Bunting has employed a unique strategy to his coaching, that only after he is gone will be appreciated. His method of sacrificing almost every game during the season to tune up to beat NC St. and Duke in the final two games is unorthodox, but has been highly effective.

Hats off to the Heels.

You don't say...

2006-11-17T16:19:00.000-05:00

Seminoles offensive coordinator Jeff Bowden told the players he was sorry if his resignation caused a problem. Left tackle Mario Henderson said. ``He did a good job of helping not make it seem like anything's going on.''

Interesting…the Seminole’s offensive performance for the last few years gave the same exact statement…

Famed boxing trainer and HBO analyst Teddy Atlas has been helping Eric Mangini and the Jets: "I went out there to Hofstra, and (Mangini) told me they had New England coming up and they'd lost seven games in a row (to them)," Atlas said. "I talked to him about things I would hope would elicit some response. I said when Tyson was fighting, his greatest strength was other people's weaknesses. I told the players, before Buster Douglas, you realized (Tyson's opponents) were defeated not because they couldn't fight but because they didn't. I said, why don't you just go out against New England and play them?"

Teddy Atlas advises the Jets to just play them, and they win…umm, are we sure that we wanna keep calling Mangini a young genius?

On The Wire:

2006-11-17T11:58:00.000-05:00

Have a coke and a smile…how the payoff for Jeff Bowden’s resignation is being financed…Link

The NCAA generates over $8 Billion a year…and it’s tax exempt?....umm, Congress, please have a look at that…Link

If you are gonna accept money from boosters…at least pay it back when you reach the league...Link

If you are playing Miami this week…watch your back…Anthony Reddick is reinstated…Link

Black and white isn’t as simple as Black and white

2006-11-17T10:29:00.000-05:00

Race issues and commentary in sports columns seem to be becoming more prevalent. Over at Page 2 on espn.com, Scoop Jackson has been churning out features that often point out perceived racial biases in the sports world for awhile now. The newest Page 2 hire, Jemele Hill, made it clear in her first submission, that she is “the” columnist that will point out the double standards that exist in sports. At the same time, writer Jason Whitlock recently left espn.com for aol.com, and he had some parting shots directed at some of the black talent at the WWL accusing some of overplaying the race card. Why exactly has this become such an issue at a supposed sports syndicate?

If ESPN’s mission is to provide sports entertainment and information, why has Page 2 been such a fertile ground for race issues, both black and white AND black and black.

Years ago, MTV was music. Just music. In fact, if you are old enough to remember, there was a time when they played nothing but videos, with the occasional VJ introducing the new videos or giving some music news. Over time, MTV evolved into a pop culture outlet that now is active in not only music and entertainment, but actively pursues a political and social agenda. This came about as the ability to influence the market was realized by those on high at MTV. MTV is essentially one never ending commercial. They have fully tapped into the fact that Americans are not a market society. We are a marketed TO society. In that way, they are able to influence our musical, entertainment and fashion tastes. Over time, that has led to the ability to influence and promote their political and social views. All this was made possible by carefully elevating the status of music within society and culture (ie, the never ending presence of the stars in our lives) and ensuring that music had the opportunity to intermix with other components of our culture.

There are some similarities over at ESPN. Of course, the same concept of controlling the market exists and this means that to constantly expand, the influence of sports within our culture must expand. And it has. Sport isn’t just on the field or the court. Sport is everywhere. And anything that is so omnipresent is going to overlap in other areas of culture. Culture is fluid and ever changing; therefore, issues that exist in some areas become prevalent and more focused in other areas as culture changes.

Throw one more thing into the cultural mix: money.

The underlying reason for influencing and changing culture for these corporations is to increase the ability to generate revenue. Not hard to figure that out. Obviously, sports has become a billion dollar industry. Its monetary growth and influence can be traced right alongside its cultural growth and influence. Which, in turn, can be traced right along side ESPN’s growth and influence.

Essentially, when we see more and more social issues addressed on ESPN, it is because sports are no longer just sports. We have had Congressional hearings on drugs in sports, during a period when you would think Congress’ attention would fully be focused on the war. Sports have permeated and intermixed with society and culture completely. And when you have that intermixing going on, issues that exist in one or the other will overlap.

Take into account that so many athletes are black. In our society, race is an issue that (particularly for black folks) doesn’t go away. So, it is not surprising that it is a prevalent topic for black columnists.

The only thing is: black and white isn’t always black and white.

Constantly calling racial bias every time a black athlete is “disrespected” or doesn’t get what they want is (in most cases) a thorough oversimplification of what is really happening. Sure, we all know that racial bias exists out there; however, a lot of other factors exist that preclude people from being treated the way they feel they should be or from getting their way. Not only does dropping the race card every time there is a perceived slight against a black athlete oversimplify things, but it also waters down those instances in which it truly would be relevant. This is a concept that Whitlock seems to advocate. Usually, if Whitlock drops the race card in one of his columns, you can bet it is relevant.

Columnists are going to write about things that they know (at least one would hope). They are going to carry over their own life experiences into their columns, because our experiences are what shape our views. So obviously, if a columnist is black, that is going to effect how they see the world. And it is, at times, going to effect the topics about which they write.

When you take into account all these factors, it seems only natural that we are going to be seeing more and more things on ESPN which we might not readily associate with sports entertainment. And, we might not be fans of seeing it on ESPN. However, WE are the ones that have allowed sports to be elevated to such an influential status within our society and culture. All we can hope for is that those lucky enough to be given the opportunity to share their thoughts and views on ESPN do so intelligently and creatively.

Remember: black and white isn’t as simple as black and white.

Butch Davis: Think he is at UNC for the long haul?

2006-11-16T16:46:00.000-05:00

Before taking the North Carolina job this week, sources said Butch Davis contacted the Cowboys because of a widespread assumption that Bill Parcells will not return next season. But Davis was told that Jeff Fisher was the No. 1 candidate to replace Parcells. -- Los Angeles Times

A bride walks to the alter and before she says, "I do", she calls this guy she thinks is sexy. She tells him she is still interested. He says no. She turns back to the preacher and tells him to carry on.

What are the odds she files for divorce the first time a good looking guy looks her way?

Butch Davis, you are such a slut.

On The Wire:

2006-11-16T15:03:00.000-05:00

Bobby Bowden says his son went through the process of resigning behind his back and without his knowledge…kinda like how he ran the offense…. Link

A sad day in the history of tradition rich Florida International…the only coach they have ever had, Don Strock, has resigned…those will be big shoes to fill down there in South Florida… Link

There is a growing rift between the compliance office and the football office at USC…looks like the compliance folks are fishing for violations… Link

And another one bites the dust…Iowa State coach Dan McCarney is done after this season…Link

The top 5 Illinois-Northwestern Rivalry moments….who knew they had 5…heck, who knew it was a rivalry… Link

Michigan-Ohio State Jeopardy!...how well do you know the Big Game?...Link

HEY WISCONSIN…………………………shut up!

2006-11-16T10:07:00.000-05:00

http://www.jsonline.com/story/index.aspx?id=531753

Yesterday, Rod Gilmore wrote a column postulating that if Notre Dame wasn’t so damned sexy, Wisconsin would be in the running for a BCS bid. Apparently the folks up in beer and cheese country couldn’t agree more, and have a plethora of reasons why Wisconsin is being overlooked. Before we explain why the reasoning is flawed, we must point out: HEY WISCONSIN! You play in the same conference as Michigan and Ohio St! Only two teams from a BCS conference are allowed in the BCS cash line. Michigan + Ohio St = TWO teams. Tap your brat against your head twice if you understand!

We know, we know: Wisconsin is going to finish 11-1 after the pending clash with superpower Buffalo. How can an 11-1 team be shut out of the BCS, you ask?

“The consensus among pundits appears to be that if the Badgers, who finished 7-1 in the Big Ten Conference, would have played a tougher non-conference schedule they would be in the hunt for a BCS bowl berth and perhaps in the running for a national title.”

This isn’t just a consensus, and it doesn’t take a pundit to figure this out. Look at the schedule. Bowling Green, Western Illinois, San Diego St., Indiana, Northwestern, Minnesota, Illinois, Buffalo. Wisconsin’s wins against winning teams were Purdue, Penn St., and Iowa. Not one impressive win. Not one win over a team currently ranked.

The column we linked to above complains:

Bret Bielema's team had little chance to make a run at the BCS title game, barring winning the Big Ten title, because it was not ranked in either pre-season poll. (UW received votes in both polls and technically was tied for No. 32 in the AP poll with Arkansas and No. 32 in the USA Today poll.

Again, it doesn’t take a pundit to figure this out. If you don’t beat anybody of consequence, you aren’t moving up! Look at Rutgers. Their schedule wasn’t overly challenging, BUT when they played a top 3 team, they WON. And moved up. Imagine! And look at Arkansas, a one loss team, like Wisconsin....but unlike Wisconsin, they beat some teams that mattered and are currently ranked: Auburn and Tennessee. Lo and behold, they moved UP!

The column goes on:

No one can call UW's 2006 non-conference schedule formidable and maintain a straight face. However, UW was originally scheduled to open with Oregon State instead of Bowling Green. Oregon State officials asked out of the two-year agreement, which was to begin in 2005, for financial reasons. Oregon State handed No. 3 Southern California its only loss this season and is 4-3 in the Pacific 10 and 6-4 overall.

Is the insinuation that Wisconsin should somehow get some credit because Oregon St. beat USC? Hey Wisconsin, no one told you to fill the hole with Bowling Green!

More important, however, it appears UW's pre-season poll position and its Sept. 23 loss at Michigan have been the most significant obstacles preventing the Badgers from securing a BCS berth.

Holy Smokes! You think so? The only team of consequence on your schedule, the only team currently ranked and it “appears” that because you didn’t beat them that THAT is why you aren’t getting a BCS bid?

Look, if you are going to play a bunch of cellar dwellers and only ONE team that matters, by god, you MUST win. Wisconsin has ZERO wins that matter. You can knock Rutgers schedule, but they beat Louisville. You can knock ND’s schedule, but they beat a Georgia Tech team that is ranked and playing in their conference championship game. You can knock the schedule of every one loss team out there. But every one loss team in the running for a BCS bid has at least ONE win over a team that matters. Every team EXCEPT Wisconsin, that is.

Hey, Wisconsin: If you had beaten Michigan you would be one of the top two teams in your conference. You lost. You are the third team in your conference. You AREN’T eligible for a BCS bid. Please, shut up.

You don't say...

2006-11-15T21:45:00.000-05:00

John Bunting said Tuesday that he will offer his help to Butch Davis -- if Davis wants it.

Umm….thanks, but no thanks, Coach Bunting…you have done QUITE enough…you just focus your little mind on Duke and Futility Bowl 2006, mmkay?….

On his resignation, Jeff Bowden said: "My biggest regret is that I won't be here the next time Coach Bowden gets to hold up the crystal ball [signifying a national title].

No worries, Jeff…Pops will be long gone before FSU is doing anything with a crystal ball but trying to see the future...

"To be honest with you, my belief is Michigan has some tremendous fronts. Both of their fronts are as good as there is in the country," Michigan State coach John L. Smth said. "My belief is that Ohio State has a little bit more capability of making plays when they don't really have a play, just based from their skills guys making something happen. And I'd think the advantage would have to go to Ohio State because they're at home."

And Smith ought to know…he got steamrolled in back to back weeks by these teams…the guy can’t coach a lick…but he might have a future as an analyst…

Crank it up: The Game of the Year!

2006-11-15T16:02:00.000-05:00

Seems like a lot of folks are caught up in the hype of this week’s Michigan-OSU game. Obviously, the winner moves on for a crack at the glass football, and the loser might not be out of it either. Media hype is overwhelming and fan interest seems to be devouring the hype. Lost in all this is the battle that will take place a week later. On November 25 two teams will clash for the right to lay claim to another title: Worst Team in College Football.

That’s right, folks. If Duke (0-10) can continue their losing streak against Georgia Tech, and if UNC (1-9, with a 3 point victory over 1-AA Furman) can ensure that John Bunting’s final clash with Chuck Amato ends in defeat, we will have the pillow fight of the year to determine who is the worst team in D-1: Futility Bowl 2006.

The stats paint the picture for us. This game is a pretty even tilt. Offensively, both teams are ranked near the bottom in almost every measurable category.

Duke: 115th with 11.4 points per game
109th with 292.3 ypg
91st with 169.4 pass ypg
97th with 103.5 rushing ypg
89th with 16.3 1st downs/game
111th with a 29.5% 3rd down conversion rate.
101(t) with a 33.3% 4th down conversion rate

UNC: 109th with 14.8 points per game
104th with 294.9 ypg
85th with 176.6 pass ypg
96th with 103.7 rushing yps
107th with 15.5 1st downs/game
104th with a 32.6% 3rd down conversion rate
30(t) with a 61.5% 4th down conversion rate

Defensively, the picture looks pretty much the same:

Duke: 103rd with 31.2 pts/game, and they are allowing 222.7 passing ypg and 160.2
rushing ypg.

UNC: 105th with 31.3 pts/game, and they are allowing 179.4 passing ypg and 189.0
rushing ypg.

The numbers don’t lie. Not only is this an incredibly even match-up, but both teams truly have earned their way into Futility Bowl 2006.

This is going to be a tough game to call, but, if we look at the kicking game, we see the area of separation:

Duke: extra points, 9/12
field goals, 3/9
punts, 36.3 avg.

UNC: extra points, 16/16
field goals, 6/6
punts, 41.3 avg.

Clearly, UNC has a major advantage in the kicking game.

We predict that UNC will be able to turn that advantage in the kicking game into the difference. UNC will also use their Top 30 4th down conversion rate to their advantage. Instead of a constant flow of 3 and out, as has been their modus operandi this season, the Heels are going to convert a few fourth downs to get themselves in field goal range and come through with their first victory against a D-1 (Duke is still D-1, right?) opponent this year.

John Bunting will be carried off the field in orgasmic victory celebration of his leading Carolina to victory in Futility Bowl 2006. If I remember correctly, when Bunting took over 6 years ago, the first thing he may or may not have said was: Carolina will never be the worst D-1 team on his watch. Way to go coach! That in and of itself makes your turn at the Carolina helm a successful one.

Butch Davis, come on down! YOU are the next contestant on: I CAN WIN AT CAROLINA!

Gee, wonder why Wisconsin isn't in the mix?

2006-11-15T11:07:00.000-05:00

"To the BCS, the 10-1 Badgers are the girl next door and won't likely get a date to the BCS party. The soon-to-be 11-1 Badgers (after facing Buffalo on Saturday) sit at No. 9 in the current BCS Rankings -- with five other one-loss teams ahead of them (USC, Florida, Notre Dame, Arkansas and West Virginia). And hardly anyone outside of Madison is screaming that the Badgers aren't being treated fairly. The most cited reason for casually dismissing the Badgers from the BCS discussion is that their schedule isn't as strong as the other one-loss teams." Rod Gilmore Espn.com Insider

Rod Gilmore makes the argument that Wisconsin is being overlooked in the hunt for BCS bids. He seems to think that their schedule is unfairly being called soft. Umm…Rod, it is soft AND that isn’t the only reason Wisconsin is being overlooked.

Gilmore seems to think that Wisconsin is passed in the rankings by the likes of Notre Dame because the Badgers aren’t as “sexy” as the Irish. Let’s look at the schedule. And remember both teams only loss was to Michigan and the other common opponents were Purdue and Penn St.

Wisconsin: Only wins over winning teams were Purdue, Penn St. and Iowa, middle of the road Big Ten teams in an overall down year for the conference. Rest of schedule is a hodge podge of losers. Bowling Green, Western Illinois, Sand Diego St., and the dregs at the cellar of the Big Ten. Remaining game is Buffalo. One has to ask: What the hell is “sexy” about that schedule? The three teams with winning records that they beat are going nowhere and the rest of the schedule is lame.

Notre Dame: The teams that they beat that have winning records are Georgia Tech, Purdue, Penn St. and Navy. Wins over PAC 10 and ACC bottom dwellers Stanford and UNC can be listed with those patsy wins Wisconsin had. Wins over Michigan St, UCLA and Air Force aren’t very impressive either. Remaining games are Army and USC.

Looking at the schedules and the common wins and losses, it would seem the win over an 8-2 Georgia Tech team (that is going to play in its conference championship game) is the differentiating factor. Of course, if ND beats USC there is no argument about why ND is ranked higher.

As stated earlier, the schedule isn’t the only reason that Wisconsin isn’t in the hunt for a BCS bid. They play in conference with Michigan AND Ohio St. BOTH of those teams are going to a BCS game. You can’t have three teams from one conference. Sorry, Rod Gilmore and Wisconsin….THERE IS NO ROOM FOR YOU.
.

You want an OSU-Michigan rematch already?

2006-11-15T10:06:00.000-05:00

The college football season is winding down and the picture is becoming a little clearer, with a handful of teams being knocked out of contention, as to who will be in the BCS title game. The scenarios are pretty much set and we have an idea about which teams need what to happen to get into the game. It looks like USC has the inside track if they can run the table, although if some other teams finish with one loss, there will be some legitimate debate. But there is one scenario that a few, like Gerry Ahern on yahoo sports (I think Mitch Albom also wrote a column demanding this), are hoping to see: a rematch of Michigan-Ohio St.

The argument being that Michigan and OSU are head and shoulders above the rest; that every other team has a “damning” loss. USC lost to a non-contending Oregon St. team. Notre Dame was waxed by Michigan. Florida lost to a two loss Auburn team. Arkansas was blown out at home by USC (who lost to that Oregon St. team). And Rutgers hasn’t played a challenging enough schedule. Because of this, some feel that the title game should be a rematch of the Michigan-OSU season finale.

The only problem is: the game hasn’t been played yet! What happens if the game is a blowout? You still want a rematch? Also, after the game, either Michigan or OSU will join the one loss teams. And, if you are going to look at the schedules of the one loss teams under the scope, you have to then put the loser of Judgment Day under it as well.

Michigan: Big wins were registered over one loss ND and one loss Wisconsin. Decent wins over Penn St. and Iowa. Michigan has registered 6 wins over teams with losing records. Let’s face it; after OSU, Michigan and Wisconsin, the Big Ten doesn’t offer much of a challenge. Penn St. and Iowa, despite winning records were not threats this year. And the bottom half of the conference is pretty lousy. Certainly, wins over ND and Wisconsin are impressive. But if Michigan winds up losing to OSU and joins the one loss cadre, are those wins any more impressive than USC thumping Arkansas, Oregon, and (if it happens) Cal and ND?

Ohio St.: Big win was Texas, and that UT loss to K-State knocks some of the luster off. Same decent wins over PSU and Iowa. Other than that, no wins over teams with a winning record. So the same question applies: If USC runs the table and OSU loses, does that win over Texas match all of USC big wins?

OSU and Michigan have looked very impressive most of the year. They are obviously the cream of the crop. But, if you are going to discount the one loss teams and go through their schedules with a fine tooth comb, you have to do the same to the loser of the OSU-Michigan. It would be hypocritical to somehow say the loss doesn’t count. And when you pin a loss on either of those teams, all of a sudden their schedule isn’t as impressive. If OSU loses, they join ND (and Wisconsin) as having only lost to Michigan. Look at the schedule. ND’s (and USC and the SEC teams) compares favorably to OSU. And if Michigan loses, are their wins over ND and Wisconsin more impressive than the big wins of the other one loss teams (besides ND)?

Calling for a rematch before the game takes place is just silly. If the game is a tight one or an overtime affair; well, make the argument then. If it ends up being one sided, calling for a rematch before the game was a waste of time.

Let’s let the season play out before we decide who gets in the title game. There is still a lot of ball to be played.

OJ the Author Writes a "Novel"

2006-11-15T00:16:00.000-05:00

LINK

What does a guy that was acquitted of murder over a decade ago, despite overwhelming evidence against him, do for fun in his spare time? Well, if that guy is OJ Simpson, apparently he writes a book describing how he would "hypothetically" commit the murders.

FOX will be airing an interview with the Juice about the book later this month. The book's working title is "If I Did It, Here's How It Happened". Which is slightly better than our suggestion: "I Did It, And Ain't Shit You Can Do About It".

McNair: Did you say Favre and Manning??

2006-11-14T10:21:00.000-05:00

Steve McNair being shut out of Tennessee has been in the news again, because of the off handed introduction of race into the equation. For some reason Ray Lewis was asked about his thoughts on this matter and he said, "I don't ever want to turn it into a black-white issue. But it would really puzzle me, seriously, if anybody would ever tell Brett Favre ... if anybody would ever tell Peyton Manning not to walk into the Indianapolis facility.” Why it is important to get Ray Lewis’ view on this, I don’t know. But he clearly hints that in his mind, race played a factor. And, by making such a statement, he turns it into a black-white issue. Nicely done, Ray.

The argument has been made that race could not be a factor, based on the Titans’ franchise history of employing and drafting black QB’s. When they were the Oilers, they brought in Warren Moon from the CFL. They drafted McNair. They drafted Vince Young. Is there another franchise that has played as large a role in the rise of the black QB? Mike Wilbon addressed this by saying, “Bigotry isn't always obvious or overt and it's very, very often something people aren't aware they're doing. But I reject the notion that because the Titans have had three black quarterbacks (Warren Moon in Houston when they were the Oilers), McNair and Vince Young means the organization is free of bigotry. Black people have always been accepted as performers for white people...For 200 years, it's been okay to entertain or perform...that doesn't mean the same people were treated equally.”

While certainly there is a truth in Wilbon’s comments, he also said (in reference to Lewis’ remarks about Favre or Manning ever being treated like McNair), “I agree with him. I couldn't see that happening with those guys either.”

Bringing Favre and Manning into the discussion is a losing proposition. McNair had a great career with the Titans and brought them to the Super Bowl. He played through incredible pain and gave himself to the organization. That is not in question. But to compare him to a guy that won a Super Bowl for a team that has one of the most loyal followings and richest histories in the NFL; a guy that has set numerous records and has literally BEEN the franchise for close to 15 years, seems a bit of a stretch. To compare him to the current poster boy of the NFL also seems beyond a fair reference.

McNair is a very good quarterback and has had an outstanding career. That can’t be argued. It also can’t be argued that McNair was completely disrespected by the Titans. The franchise showed no compassion or loyalty for his years of service. But the suggestion that this was done based on skin color, or the suggestion that McNair should expect the same treatment as Favre or Manning is irrational.

The only color of concern here was green. The franchise put the bottom line ahead of one of their great players. And they went on to handle it and communicate it very poorly. Black players and black columnists won’t, and maybe can’t say it. But it has to be said: McNair ain’t in the same league as Favre and Manning and his not being treated as they might be isn’t so much a commentary on race as it is on ability and dollars.

The only racial bias here is the notion that because McNair was a very good black QB he should be held in the same regard as two of THE greatest QB’s of all time. McNair was wronged, no doubt. But let’s keep expectations and comparisons in line with ability.

To do otherwise might be perceived as preferential treatment based on race, and Ray Lewis and Mike Wilbon have clearly stated that would be wrong.

ESPN's Peyton Manning Doppleganger

2006-11-13T16:32:00.000-05:00

Column

ESPN writer Kieran Darcy's coworkers believe he is dead ringer for Peyton Manning. So, he was assigned to head to Indy and try to see if he can pass for Manning. Nice premise for a little column. Sounds fun. Why not?

Well, after spending the better part of three days in Indy, not a soul mistook him for Peyton. Even after having his cohort try to cajole people into thinking it was Manning. I can't imagine why people didn't fall for it, can you? Try and pick out the real Manning below.

We had a tough time picking the real Manning out, too. I can't imagine why the people in Indy didn't mob Darcy. I mean, aside from the obvious facial similarity, Darcy has the finely honed athletic look of an NFL QB. What gives Indy? Don't even know what your hometown hero looks like?

I want someone to tell Peter King he looks like Norm and send him off to Beantown to write about it.

Borat takes a beatdown...

2006-11-13T10:56:00.000-05:00

Did you see Borat yet? Funny movie. Sasha Baron Cohen is already planning his next film, which will be him as that fruity fashion character from his Ali G show.

Hopefully he doesn't go walking the streets all in character as the fruity fashion guy...the results might be worse than this...

Borat gets beat down.

Carolina blue goes Butch…

2006-11-13T10:40:00.000-05:00

Looks like Carolina is getting a name coach this time. After replacing Mack Brown with two guys better suited to be coordinators or position coaches, UNC has decided to go after a big name. But is this going to work?

Davis had a pretty successful stint as the Head Coach at the “U”. He was able to get them through a period of probation and then turn the program over to Larry Coker to win a title. Davis went on to coach the Cleveland Browns to many losses.

In the mid-90’s, under Mack, UNC was bringing in future NFL players by the bus load. For one three year stretch, the only school that put more guys in the league was Florida St. Those days are LONG gone and it is going to be tough to bring in the talent. Whether Butch still has connections to the South Florida talent pipeline that served him so well at Miami, remains to be seen. John Bunting brought in some talent. But, talk to former players and you will find that many recruits were turned off by the hard ass disciplinarian approach Bunting took. So, Davis is walking into a program that doesn’t have a real solid recruiting base at this point, regardless of the rosie picture the school might like to paint.

The facilities at UNC are pretty solid. During the Mack years, the school raised around 50 million to build one of the nicest football centers in the country. Carolina is a pretty wealthy school with an alumni base that isn’t afraid to hand over the dough. So, Davis should have the financial backing to start rebuilding.

Right now, the expectations are so low for the program that Davis isn’t going to be under pressure to win immediately. Talking to several former players and alumni at the recent homecoming, there wasn’t even a buzz or much excitement about the prospects for the program or the pending naming of Davis as the coach. Folks were focused on the start of hoops season and the squad that Roy Williams had assembled for the upcoming season. Imagine that.

The same reasons Mack Brown left (ie, football will always take a back seat to hoops) despite putting together a top 10 program are going to continue to be an issue. Carolina has a history of having some real solid football years, but no staying power. And that will continue under Butch.

Davis may be able to get Carolina to the upper half of the ACC, but do you really think he will be around long enough to BUILD a power? The reality is, Carolina is a stepping stone program: tons of resources and a top brand name (because of hoops) but not a destination spot for top coaches (more of layover stop). We think Davis will get some wins at UNC and bring them to a bowl game or two, but in less than 5 years, UNC will be searching for another coach.

But, by then the basketball program should have another NCAA championship banner hanging in the rafters of the Dean Dome, so it won’t really matter.

King Me: WTF?? On point more than ONCE??

2006-11-13T09:55:00.000-05:00

Heeeeeere's Peter King:

1. On a trip to Chicago Wednesday, I learned there's one name that should be on your radar screens for the next two weeks, when the Bears make consecutive trips to the Meadowlands: Mark Bradley. You remember him. Speedy receiver from Oklahoma. Been hurt a lot. Has made zero impact on the Bears. Well, on Sunday night, he's going to be Bernard Berrian, who will miss the game with sore ribs barring a fast recovery. And Rex Grossman is not going to be afraid to look for Bradley either. If I had weak receivers and could pick someone up this weekend, it'd be Bradley. I see him catching four for 88, something like that.

WOW! What a start to this weeks tips…Peter was actually pretty much on point here…Bradley went 4-79 and 1TD…can this be?...correct on his first pick?...or am I still shitfaced from the weekend????

2. Do not go all panicsville on Grossman. I found him more fidgety on Wednesday than I remember him, but he's got this steely resolve that a couple of big-turnover games are not going to change him as a quarterback. Good. Quarterbacks who play scared are not usually quarterbacks who play. The Bears have had a bunch of those in recent years.

246 yards…3 TD…1 INT…OK…WTF???...two for two…either I AM still shitfaced or Peter is letting his wife ghostwrite his tips this week…

3. Trent Green's not been cleared to practice yet. If you can get a fourth receiver or spare back for him, I'd trade him right now. Not looking like he'll be much of a factor in 2006.

Well…this is a bit more like it…not that he’s wrong…but once again…Captain Obvious gives some good advice…also, don’t drink Drano and don’t play with a loaded gun…phew…I was beginning to think we might actually have a football expert or something here…

4. Chiefs gut feeling based on a conversation with Herman Edwards this week. "We're not going to burn out Larry Johnson,'' he told me. "We've got Michael Bennett, and he's going to get in there some.'' Hmmm. Might be a nice little insurance policy.

There you are, Peter…was wondering where you were with your inside info…Michael Bennett: 0 carries.

5. Another gut feeling: Chad Johnson is about to explode. The Bengals don't want that. I think Carson Palmer gets eight balls to him against San Diego, with T.J. Houshmandzadeh taking a strategic back seat this week.

We have a NEW record!...this is the third tip already this week that came to be…that is the total Peter hit for the previous 3 weeks combined…Chad lit it up for 11 and 260 and 2TDs...

6. Trade Byron Leftwich. For anything. Unless David Garrard stinks, you won't be playing Leftwich for the rest of the year, because I don't think he will be playing for the rest of the year.

Umm…he is back to this Leftwich/Garrard thing…STOP…please, Peter…you blew this a few weeks ago when you said Leftwich was the man and that as soon as he was healthy he would be back as the starter…you can’t erase that by pretending you are on the Garrard bandwagon now…so just stop…we all know that Del Rio and Leftwich are no longer playing nice…so this does not even qualify as a tip…

7. Whoever you have on the Eagles on offense, play them when they take the field against Washington. After a bye, they're refreshed and Andy Reid's put the team on notice that their poor play won't be tolerated. There is a burr in their saddle that hasn't been there for a while, and I think they'll play at a productive level Sunday.

What do you say to this? I mean…he picked everyone on the damned team…the reality is that only Donte Stallworth had a big fantasy day…Westbrook ran for over 100, with 0 TD…McNabb threw for 222 and a TD…Nobody else had more than 40 yards receiving or 20 yards rushing…one guy having a truly productive fantasy day out of the whole offense…nope, sorry, can’t give him props on this one…Peter went squirrel hunting with a shotgun…and came home with nothing but the tail…

8. No one would play Charlie Frye right now. Except me. He's going against a beat-up Atlanta secondary, and I think he'll throw for 275 and a couple of touchdowns.

Charlie Frye….165 and 1 TD…Peter should have stopped after the first sentence…I like the contrarian outlook, Peter…but let’s face it…anytime YOU have a gut feeling…just assume it is indigestion…

9. Tom Brady is starting to look for David Thomas, his rookie tight end from Texas. If you need a spare tight end, he would be a good buy, because Brady soon is going to see Ben Watson blanketed more than ever because of his tendency to look for him so often. Thomas is an excellent receiver.

Brady may have started looking for Thomas…but he sure didn’t find him this week…0 catches…now, THIS is the Peter King we know and love…

10. You've been scared to play rookie Greg Jennings, the ankle-bothered Packers wideout. Understandable. He's a speed guy, and he hasn't practiced much because of the sore ankle. But this is the week to play him, in my opinion -- on turf, at the Metrodome, with cornerbacks who have never played him before.

Well, Peter didn’t actually say that Jennings would have a good game…he just said that this was the week to play him…Jennings lit up the turf and flashed his talents for those CB’s who hadn’t had the pleasure…to the tune of 3-38 and 0 TDs…

Early on, it looked like Peter might actually have some hot tips for his loyal minions…guess his wife got busy and couldn’t finish the column for him tho…

Ladies and Gentlemen: Peter King: Football Expert and Fantasy Guru, who even got a few picks right this week.

You don't say...

2006-11-10T15:58:00.000-05:00

The intro to Peter King’s Fantasy Things weekly 10 tips : “Onto this week's intelligence, and I use that word loosely”…

PETER! Finally, something we can 100% agree on!

Everybody loves to talk about how “fun” (Chad) Johnson is. Wake me when people start talking about Johnson being a “winner.” – Jason Whitlock in this week’s 10 Truths

DOH!!! Scoop Jackson is not gonna like THAT!

Don’t be too quick to jump off the Bears bandwagon just because they played poorly against the Miami Dolphins. The Bears really missed big-play receiver Bernard Berrian. – also from Jason Whitlock in this week’s 10 truths

DOH! Jay Mariotti is NOT gonna like that!

His former team is trying to collect more than $600,000 in fines for missing training camp and other team workouts and a portion of his signing bonus. Lelie's base salary this season is $600,000. "It hasn't died down yet," Lelie said. "It seems kind of petty. We're like halfway into the season and they are still nagging me about chump change when you look at (the league) as a billion dollar organization, this is chump change. Still, it's not over yet. I have to go over the legal stuff to see how that turns out." Lelie was traded to Atlanta late in training camp. Lelie had to sign a letter of recognition that the team could seek damages before the trade was consummated. "That's what I was afraid of from the beginning," Lelie said.

Umm...yeah...you signed a paper saying that you recognized their right to seek the remuneration..you were afraid of it from the beginning...you know, after you signed the paper...and now you are surprised they want their money?...Ashley Lelie: Rhodes Scholar!

NOW let the argument begin....

2006-11-10T08:04:00.000-05:00

Ok. The other day we posted that all this debate about whether Louisville deserved to be in the BCS title game was premature, because they wouldn't get past Rutgers. We just wanted to pat ourselves on the back for being correct and calling that Louisville would not win because Rutgers would win the battles on both lines of scrimmage and keep UL from getting those 2nd and shorts that they had all game against WVU. Peter King, take note: It isn't that hard to be right when you predict games. In fact, apparantly you don't even have to be a football expert. You can just be a moron, like us. At least that is what it says in some of the emails we get.

Enough self aggrandizement. Now, let the debate begin as to who is the worthy one loss team. Rutgers won't be in the picture regardless of if they run the table. They started back way too far and can't possibly make up the ground in the BCS rankings. So, we won't even bother addressing that.

Let's begin the beauty pageant of one loss teams vying to be Miss Congeniality to OSU or Michigan:

Texas: The defending champs sure have a nice high rating. Funny, everyone complained that Louisville didn't deserve a crack at the glass football because they played a weak schedule and let up tons of yards in the WVU game. Texas hasn't exactly played the hardest schedule in the nation AND they let up over 500 yards against a mediocre Texas Tech team. Why no bitching? Wins over a solid but not spectacular OU team and simply an above average Nebraska team are the high points. A spanking at home by Ohio St. is the low point. Yea, it was early in the season. Yea, Colt McCoy was probably wearing Pampers for that one. So what? They still got spanked at home. Everyone wants to count out Notre Dame because of an early season home field beat down and no marque wins. Let's apply that same sentiment to Texas.

Florida: Well, can't really knock the schedule. Only teams with losing records were UCF and Vandy. Loss was a close one out on the plains. Look to have a good shot at running the table, then have the SEC title game. At this point, it seems that if they can pull that off, they would be a legit BCS title game participant.

Auburn: Schedule not quite as challenging as UF, but they DID beat UF. Suffered that rough loss to Arkansas on their home turf. Feeling here is, if they don't make the SEC title game, they don't have a legit claim to the BCS title game.

USC: Solid non-conference blow-out win at Arkansas and a win at home over an above average Nebraska squad. Obviously, the loss to Oregon St. hurts the cause, but the Trojans have three tough games left: Cal, Oregon and ND. If they run the table, would be hard to keep the Trojans out of the title game. 3 quality non-conference wins (I don't think any other team can match those non-conference wins) and a PAC 10 title would be hard to lock out.

The rest of the contending one loss teams: Cal, ND and Arkansas all really probably need the other one loss teams ahead of them to lose to have a crack.

Of course, some might also contend that if the OSU-Michigan game is a close one, the loser would deserve to be the one loss BCS title participant.

We'll have to see how it plays out, but right now it looks like Florida or USC (if they can run the table) will have the best crack at it.