Sunday, October 29, 2006

3 Things I Think I Thunk While Peter King Sipped A Quintuple Maple Mocha Chai Frappacino Latte During His Colon Exam

1) “…I will call them idiots, because they have neither spoken to me, nor any one of my teammates or any of my coaches,” Barber said. “Yet all they do is criticize me for being a distraction with this retirement thing.”
“And that includes (The Daily News’) Gary Myers,” he said. “That includes Tom Jackson on ESPN. That includes the ultimate character guy, facetiously speaking of course, Michael Irvin (ESPN). Please get a clue on how to be a journalist.
“Don’t make blanket assumptions about it (retirement). And obviously, as was evidenced (Monday) night, I am a huge distraction to the New York Giants.”

I think Tiki Barber has a point. Last year everyone LOVED that Jerome Bettis announced his retirement. The dudes on ESPN weren't popping off about Bettis being a detriment to the Steelers. In fact, didn't Bettis' retirement become a rallying cry for the team? But news of Tiki's impending moving on is something that will distract this team from its goals? Please. If a team can't stay focused on the season, they don't deserve to win anyway. As for Irvin calling Tiki a quitter; I am convinced The Playmaker lacks that filter that most of us have. That thing that exists in one's mind that tells your mouth to stop making sounds that don't make any sense.....I think it is called common sense. Anyway, the Giants sure haven't looked distracted in the 2 games they have played since the announcement.

2) Ocho Cinco decided it was time to have fun again. The old CJ would be coming back. This announcement (coupled with Spoop Jackson's proposition that the reason the Bengals' offense was not producing at last years level was because CJ hadn't been allowed to be CJ this year) certainly didn't bode well for the Falcons. I mean, according to Spoop's reckoning, a running at the mouth CJ is unstoppable. Forget the other existing issues with the offense (still recovering QB, shakey O line, etc), when the mouth of CJ roars, huge numbers follow. Well, CJ got on the board with his second TD of the season. His line read six catches for a team-high 78 yards. Respectable. But, for all the tongue wagging prior to the game, I'd say this falls short of backing it up. Recap: the return of CJ; per Spoop this should make the offense exciting and lead to big numbers; respectable production, if not on par with the pre-game verbosity; OH.....and a Bengals' loss because the offense couldn't hang with ATL. I think we can chalk another one up for the WRONG again column.

3) Charlie Weiss claims he is "befuddled" with the current ranking of the Irish. If you look at Texas' ranking and examine their schedule and results; you can see his point. The Longhorns have only two wins over teams with winning records (OU and Neb) and Nebraska has certainly been exposed as not being a real high quality win. Additionally, the 'Horns got hammered at home by Ohio St. Looking at ND's schedule, the quality of ND wins compares favorably, with the only true patsy being Stanford and the rest of the teams having winning records. As for the loss, it was very similar to UT's: a beatdown at home to a team ranked near the top. Based on this comparison, I'd say I agree with Charlie. BUT, if you compare ND to Boston College, which is ranked below could look at the BC schedule and come away thinking ND is over rated. I think my point is: the whole process is "befuddling" and whether you are a coach or a fan, you will drive yourself crazy if you try to rationalize the rankings.

Travel Note: If you are ever in Tampa for Guavaween (a giant Halloween Street party) make sure to stop in at the "Boneyard", a bar in Ybor City. Nice atmosphere, just enough local drunks to be colorful but not intimidating. And the bartender wore a wonderful costume that tastefully accentuated her amble bossom, in a slutty bar wench kinda way. She may or may not have been drop dead gorgeous. Although, through eyes that were under the influence of 10-12 Makers and ginger ales, she was a dime.

Coffeenerdness (Alcoholic's edition): If you are like me and LOVE a nice Crown Royal and coke, consider making it a diet coke. No, not for the reduced calories. But for the reduced sweetness. The diet coke allows the taste of the Crown Royal to really shine through.

Just checked my watch. Time for my Flexible Sigmoidoscopy.


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