Friday, August 18, 2006

When will Ron Artest get an offer to be on Sesame Street?

If community service is supposed to make Ron Artest re-think his actions that Friday night in November 2004, well, forget that. He said he has no regrets. When one of the kids asked Artest about the brawl, he said the moral of the story was that "if you have to protect yourself, protect yourself." "I never say it was mistake," Artest said Wednesday. "Somebody started trouble, and I always say I ended it. He started it and I ended it." -- Detroit Free Press

Seemed like a good idea, huh? Get a group of kids together. Have an eloquent and contrite Ron Artest march out in front of them. Tell them, humbly, about the lessons he learned and the consequences he suffered due to participating in the maylay. Yeah, on paper.....good stuff. The stuff of which after school specials and great PR ops are made. One thing.....Artest is crazy. Whoever came up with this idea forgot to account for the Ron-Ron factor.

Admitttedly, though, the idea of Ron Artest holding court and orating about his life's lessons in the form of morals education is brilliant. Just imagine if this same group of kids were to be exposed to "life according to Ron-Ron" lectures once a week for the rest of their formative years.

I think Ron may be on to something. He needs to forget 'ball. Forget producing music. Forget rappin'. Ron-Ron is ready to fill the shoes that have been collectively vacated by Mr. Rogers and Cap'n Kangaroo. The time has come for Ron-Ron to don a Big Bird outfit and get out there and mold the minds of our younger generation. I dream of the day I walk down the street and am attacked and pants'd ( by young people protecting themselves from me.

"I’m a ghetto-type guy. I’ll be ghetto for the rest of my life. But at the same time, there’s a lot of kids who look up to me. For that, I’ll change." – Ron Artest

Ron Artest.....changing fo da chidrens.....Ron-Ron luv da keeds!


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