The Macho Man that is Peter King.....
"Hey, Mort: It's cool that you're going to be someone's fantasy-football GM. But that commercial ... did you have to look so ... so unmasculine? "
Peter King masculinely discusses the latest changes to Starbuck's beverage menu with fellow colonoscopy exam survivors.
OH SNAP! Supermacho CNNSI coffee and tea critic, Peter King lets loose with a haymaker that lands square on ESPN's Chris Mortensen's chin! The Starbucks pumping, tea-toddling, colon exam preparation-detailing King apparantly was turned off by a new ESPN commercial featuring Morty. If you are familiar with King, you know that he is a man's man. A true throwback. As macho as they come. A man that lives, breathes and bleeds Football. Well, except when he is ever so masculinely describing his favorite coffees and butchly espousing the details of the flavoring of the delicious teas that he can't stop sipping. And, no one can tell us about their daughter's softball exploits with such cock and balls manliness as ole Peter. Morty must be a fag! Thanks for pointing that out, Peter. You are the barometer that all men measure their masculinity against. Reading your testosterone fueled column about your colon exam made me feel like a homo. Seriously.
Peter uses the most manly of hand gestures in his testosterone driven diatribe demanding that the barista responsible for achieving the perfect froth on a Venti Hazelnut Latte that he imbibed that morning be eligible for an immediate spot in Canton.