Monday, August 14, 2006

The Macho Man that is Peter King.....

"Hey, Mort: It's cool that you're going to be someone's fantasy-football GM. But that commercial ... did you have to look so ... so unmasculine? "
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Peter King masculinely discusses the latest changes to Starbuck's beverage menu with fellow colonoscopy exam survivors.



OH SNAP! Supermacho CNNSI coffee and tea critic, Peter King lets loose with a haymaker that lands square on ESPN's Chris Mortensen's chin! The Starbucks pumping, tea-toddling, colon exam preparation-detailing King apparantly was turned off by a new ESPN commercial featuring Morty. If you are familiar with King, you know that he is a man's man. A true throwback. As macho as they come. A man that lives, breathes and bleeds Football. Well, except when he is ever so masculinely describing his favorite coffees and butchly espousing the details of the flavoring of the delicious teas that he can't stop sipping. And, no one can tell us about their daughter's softball exploits with such cock and balls manliness as ole Peter. Morty must be a fag! Thanks for pointing that out, Peter. You are the barometer that all men measure their masculinity against. Reading your testosterone fueled column about your colon exam made me feel like a homo. Seriously.


Peter uses the most manly of hand gestures in his testosterone driven diatribe demanding that the barista responsible for achieving the perfect froth on a Venti Hazelnut Latte that he imbibed that morning be eligible for an immediate spot in Canton.

13 Comments:

At 2:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HA! Maybe Mort and Peter can have a slap fight...lol

 
At 3:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

so lets see, you write a blog online which presumably has access to millions of people, and you get 2 comments back? Give Up. Please.

 
At 3:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous is right. give up. go over and read his blog. er, uhm. well anway.

 
At 3:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous has unmasked the correct! give it up! no one will ever comment on this blog... he didn't!

 
At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous is just upset with you... he is a huge caramel macchiato fan!

 
At 4:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Either a huge carmel macchiato fan, or huge colonoscopy fan.

 
At 4:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous = Peter King's personal barista

 
At 4:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous = Peter King's personal colonoscopy technician

 
At 5:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

maybe anonymous, is the only one actually commenting, so in effect he is right, heck maybe Im anonymous, or anonymous, or anonymous, point is anonymous is right, but which one? we are all the same, ahhhhhh, so confused....

 
At 5:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

speaking anonymously, i LOVE iced vanilla machiattos. But that is just me.

 
At 8:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

is it just me, or does King look like Norm from cheers in those pics?

 
At 9:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Norm would NEVER say the phrase "Mint Chocolate Chip Mocha Frappacino with Whipped Creme"... dammit.

 
At 2:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah - I have seen his "coffeenerd" posts on his column. And I don't get it. A "computer nerd" would mean somebody who not only spends a lot of time with computers, but also KNOWS a hell of a lot about them. If King knew anything about coffee, he would know things like (i) Starbucks is NOT first rate coffee (in fact, believe it or not, Dunk N Donuts is even better), and (ii) the frappacinos and double lattes he always gets would never be ordered by a coffeenerd.

He is not a coffeenerd, he is a coffeenincompoop -- and an annoying one at that!

 

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